Running Around (and Such) Read Online Free PDF Page A

so delicious a moment earlier turned to sawdust and stuck in her throat. Lizzie was shocked. She felt hot all over, her face burning with humiliation.
    “I don’t mean to be rude, Lizzie. I know I’m losing my temper. But you need to shape up and help Emma and me more over this time. We’re building a house and this house is for you, too, so your duty is to help along with everyone else.”
    Lizzie hadn’t said one word. She couldn’t. She supposed what Mam had told her was true. She was fat and lazy. The truth hurt so badly, Lizzie felt like crawling under her bed and never coming out again. She would stay under her bed until she died and turned into one big dust ball. They would never know what had happened to her.
    That evening, when Emma set the alarm clock properly as she always did, climbed into bed, plumped her pillow, rolled over, and said, “G’night,” Lizzie didn’t answer. After a while, she said, “Emma.”
    “What?”
    “Do you think I’m fat?”
    “Ach, Lizzie, it’s mean to say someone is fat. I’m not thin, either.”
    There was silence as Lizzie stared wide-eyed into the darkness. It was not a nice thought, but Mam wasn’t very kind. How could she be so mean?
    “Emma?”
    “Hmm?”
    “Mam likes you a lot better than me, doesn’t she? I mean, she likes me as good as you can like a fat, lazy person, but she likes you a lot better. Not just because you’re thin and you work harder, but she really, really, really likes you a whole pile more than me.”
    “Lizzie, now stop it. You know that’s not true.”
    Lizzie sat straight up. “Emma, I know what’s true and what isn’t. Don’t you try and tell me. Mam said I am overweight and lazy, so that’s exactly what she thinks of me. And I don’t care.”
    Lizzie plopped back down on her pillow, snorted, and then twisted and arranged herself in a comfortable position before she said, “G’night.”
    “Lizzie.”
    “What?”
    “You can’t go to sleep thinking that. Mam would never love one of her daughters more than another. It’s just that you could help more since we have the twins. There is about three times as much work now as there was before they were born.”
    “See?”
    “See what?”
    “I tried to tell you. What do we want another baby for? And then she goes and has two.”
    “You think it’s her fault? God gave us those babies.”
    At least Mam had decided to stop being upset about their move to Cameron County. Lizzie wished now that Mam could bring herself to care as much about her as she did about Emma. Dat did, but Mam still seemed to think first of Emma and her needs. Lizzie shifted in her bed, listening to the sound of Mandy sleeping. Maybe when they were little, Emma had been right about Mam loving all her girls the same. But that didn’t mean she did now. Lizzie was going to have to do something about this whole dilemma in the morning.

Chapter 5

    L IZZIE POUTED ALL THROUGH breakfast, barely touching her food. When someone asked her a question, she shrugged her shoulders and looked at the cold, congealed egg on her plate.
    “Alright, what’s wrong?” Mam asked finally.
    Lizzie blinked her eyes rapidly to hold back hot, angry tears of shame and resentment. She got up from the table. At the sink, she started throwing dirty dishes out of the way and slamming plates on the countertop as hard as she could. She would show Mam and Emma who could get work done around here. She held the bottle of dish detergent upside down and squeezed, producing mountains of white, frothy bubbles. The rinse water was foamy with soap when Mam came back to the kitchen to heat water for formula.
    “Lizzie, how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t use so much dish detergent!” she said.
    Lizzie didn’t answer. She turned away from Mam, blindly looking for more utensils. Just go away, she thought. Go away and leave me alone.
    “Lizzie?”
    “Nothing.” Lizzie kept her mouth clamped shut tightly. She refused to turn around