Rumors Read Online Free PDF

a
sheltered life—and I didn’t mean from a worldly standpoint. He had
never experienced the hurt and pain I was suffering, so he couldn’t
relate. No one could.
    No, it
wasn’t his fault at all. Shane’s life was void of the emotional
devastation that comes from loss—from guilt. He was just an average
senior in high school, a typical jock juggling academics and
athletics, whose biggest worry was which college he would attend. I
couldn’t expect more of him, and so I would not even try to pull
him into my disparaging world.
    I forced
a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing.” My voice was a whisper, pushing
past my emotions. “I… just remembered I was supposed to drive my
sisters home thirty minutes ago.” I let out a breath of air,
playing the part. “My mom’s gonna kill me. She didn’t want them at
the party too long.” I couldn’t make my eyes meet Shane’s. I didn’t
know if he believed me—if he could see past my strained
façade.
    I also
didn’t expect his soft lips to touch my forehead, or for him to
place his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me
closer.
    My
breath caught in my chest, confused and uncertain. Shane’s lips
lingered on my skin before he lowered his forehead to mine. I
closed my eyes, uncertain if Shane’s eyes were closed as well, or
if he was watching my tentative reaction.
    Either
way, I didn’t see him make his move. I only felt him place his
fingers beneath my chin, lifting my face. His lips touched mine,
ever so softly—almost in question, like he was testing my response.
My mouth opened slightly, perhaps about to protest. I don’t know
for sure because the next moment, before I could decide if my heart
was drumming faster from attraction or nervousness, Shane moved his
mouth more adamantly to mine. His hand slid to the side of my face,
holding me steady.
    I
surrendered.
    His kiss
became our kiss. A shiver ran down my body, igniting a fuse of
emotions—like a breath of fresh air blowing away the heaviness. In
that moment, I forgot about my pain, and my guilt. All thoughts of
Maddie were pushed aside.
    For the
first time in months, I felt sheltered.

Shane’s
kiss was the first thing I remembered when I awoke in bed Saturday
morning. I had replayed the scene repeatedly in my mind, recalling
the startling way our kiss began, and then how I’d allowed it to
transform into something I wanted—something I needed.
    Regret
hit my empty stomach.
    My hands
rubbed at my eyes, and I ran a hand through my loose, wavy hair. I
groaned and sat up in bed, draping my head over my knees. I
shouldn’t have allowed the kiss to happen. It didn’t mean anything.
I knew Shane wouldn’t think twice about it, and I wondered if I
should feel used. The whole evening had been an easy set up for a
one-night stand.
    But I
had used him, too. Maddie’s death lingered over me like a rain
cloud, every day threatening to pour down the accompanying guilt
and despair linked with her memories. I’d enjoyed the temporary
amnesia from constantly thinking about her. I supposed that made
Shane and me even. We both got what we wanted, and we could move
on.
    My cell phone chirped, signaling a text message. It was from
Shane and read, “ Good morning, beautiful.
Do I get to see you today?”
    Wait, what?
    I read
the text one more time, confusion hitting my eyebrows. What
happened to the one-night stand idea? Not that I liked the idea of
being used, but it was certainly easier than… whatever Shane’s text
implied.
    Within
the hour, I was dressed in warm running gear, an iPod attached to
my arm and headphones dangling loosely around my neck.
    “ Allie, are you sure you want to run this morning?” Mom asked
from the breakfast table. She took a bite of pancakes from the
plate she’d put together for me after I politely declined. “It’s
cold out there. Why don’t you wait for it to warm up this
afternoon?”
    I lifted
my shoe onto the chair to tie my lime-green shoelaces, a brilliant
contrast to the black