anything because of the devil’s bargain I struck with him early in my career.
“Jamie,” Theo said, “I can’t protect you if I don’t know everything. Tell me. What’s wrong?”
I sighed. Could I trust Theo? I had to. What choice did I have?
“You signed a NDA right?”
NDA, or non-disclosure agreement. Shonda makes everyone who works for me sign one. It’s a legally binding contract that forbids anyone from disclosing confidential information. If they spill personal details about my life, I can sue them into oblivion. Every major star has one with their employees.
“Yeah, of course. Whatever you have to say will stay confidential. You have my word.”
“Louis and I have a PR relationship,” I whispered as if someone was listening in.
“A what?”
“A PR relationship. We’re not really a couple. We just pretend because it gets us good press.”
“I see…” he said, sounding as if he didn’t see at all.
“You can’t tell anyone, Theo. If word gets out, we’re all finished. None of us will ever work in this business again. You won’t be able to get a job as a mall security guard by the time the studios done destroying your life.”
“I don’t understand why it’s a big deal.”
“Hollywood is all one big fairy tale, but people want to believe in the fantasy. If they knew the truth, it would ruin all the magic.”
“So… the reason Louis was threatening you is because…?”
“When I first came to Hollywood, I wasn’t willing to do what it takes to become a big star if you know what I mean.” I gave Theo a meaningful look. He looked more confused than ever. “You know what the casting couch is right?”
He stared at me blankly.
“Producers and directors offer roles in exchange for sexual favors. It happens all the time. I’m not willing to go down on some disgusting, sleazy producer for a part, so it’s harder for me to get work. Are you following now?”
I was starting to lose my temper. Talking about Hollywood’s dark underbelly always made me feel like I needed a hot shower. I spent my career on the outer limits of it, watching talented girls with stars in their eyes and dreams of fame fall victim to it. Most of those girls end up washed-up, addicted to drugs and unemployable. It’s beyond sad.
I’ve done what I can to avoid a similar route in life, but temptation is everywhere. In my darker moments, I’ve thought why not? Sleep with a director once, get cast in a Blockbuster movie, win an Oscar, makes millions of dollars, and more. Sounds like a simple trade, right? I could never grow through with it. Shonda did guilt me into entering into a PR relationship with Louis, though.
“But your career is thriving. Your movies are huge hits. Why would you need some agreement to boost your profile? You’re already insanely famous.”
“It’s more complicated than that. I’m only famous because of Louis. When we settled on this arrangement, I was a nobody. He was a huge star with an image problem.”
Louis had been in several fights. He was also haunted by rumors about his sexuality that would not go away.
“He’s gay,” I blurted out.
“What?”
“Louis’s gay, and that’s unacceptable in the public relations world. It’s fucked up, but that’s how it is. Studios are worried that if Louis came out of the closet, it would ruin his brand. He’s hugely popular with teenage girls. They all want to date him, or marry him, or whatever. It’s those girls that go and see his movie again and again. They blow their allowances on merchandise and they spend all day online talking about how hot he is. Louis’s teenage fanbase is a huge source of income for the studios, not to mention all the free press they generate.”
“So, what you’re saying is that if he comes out as gay, it would ruin their fantasy and they’d stop going to see his movies?”
I nodded.
“And that’s the reason why he can’t live his life the way he wants to in public?”
“It’s
Jeffrey M. Schwartz, Sharon Begley