Rum Punch Regrets Read Online Free PDF Page A

Leigh so she could see her face as Abby bitch-slapped the computer screen.
    “Maria, I’m going to repeat back to you everything you just told me to make sure I have this under control in my brain. Okay?”
    Maria nodded, mumbling, “Okay, Abby,” and kept busy prepping food in the kitchen for the mystery meal.
    Abby took a deep breath, like the yoga kind her therapist always suggested to her, especially when she was trying to quit smoking. Or dealing with her mother or Leigh.
    “La Cantina is a bed-and-breakfast. An inn. My sister owns an inn. A B&B. And it is La Cantina. Right?” Abby asked.
    Maria turned and looked at Abby. “Yes.” Then she returned to her work.
    “Okay. And tonight, there are guests arriving so I am not to be in the house because the space is needed, therefore this truly is a classic case of ‘no room at the inn’?” Abby stopped long enough to take a breath before continuing. “Again, La Cantina being the BED AND BREAKFAST MY SISTER OWNS?”
    Maria turned and glowered at Abby. “No need to be shouting. I am right here.”
    Abby nodded and took another drink of coffee. “I’m sorry I’m shouting, but all of this,” Abby began waving her hands around and motioning loudly, as if her hands could talk and they were the ones shouting, “is a bit of news to me. A big piece of info that my sister, the person I should know best in the world, has left out. That’s what she does. She leaves things out.” Abby was exasperated. “I even asked her . . . Okay. That she has a house is one thing . . . but a freaking inn on a Caribbean island? And I can’t even stay in it? I get to room with a complete stranger for a few weeks while I help her fix her inn?”
    Abby pounded her heart with the palm of her right hand and began breathing dramatically. “Forgive me if I am yelling or in any way offending you, Maria, but things as I know them keep shifting. Dramatically.” Abby suddenly shuddered. “Oh God.”
    Abby was sweating profusely and her stomach was sick. “This. This is what a heart attack feels like. I think I’m having a heart attack . . . ”
    Abby got up and was really stroking at her heart now and couldn’t catch her breath. Oh God, she thought. I’m going to die in this house of Leigh’s right before her guests arrive to stay. Well, well. That’s one way to totally get her ass back.
    “Gas. It’s gas. I bet you need to go number two.”
    Abby turned and looked at Maria. Is this woman joking? From Maria’s deadpan, know-it-all expression, Abby could tell she was not.
    “You traveled and are probably dehydrated. I am sure you just need to release a little stress. Maybe a massage for your bowels later? Now sit back down . . . ”
    Abby was stunned. “No one will be massaging my bowels today. And stress? Maria, really? Everything I keep discovering and now there’s a you and a Ziggy and a house and a roommate and guests and you think I only have gas? I’m thinking an ulcer or an aneurysm.”
    Maria nodded, her face emotionless. “Ziggy gets it too. No worry. I make you a root tea later; everything will be,” she winked at Abby, “regular again. Smooooth. You’ll see.”
    Maria started to laugh raucously, and it echoed all through the kitchen and dining room. It rolled over porches and into the yard. The neighbors probably heard her, if the wind was just right. Abby knew she would not escape the sound of this woman’s glee. In fact, Abby knew she would not escape any of this. It was her new reality. Yet as Maria laughed, Abby started to smile as if she was infected by the sound. Slowly her own laughter joined Maria’s. Here she was in paradise, Abby George, and she was about to stay with someone she had never met, much less had even been introduced to. It was all quite surreal.
    Abby was still chuckling as she sat back down at the kitchen table.
    “Okay, Maria. I’ll play. I really have no choice, do I? I’ve never been here, and I don’t know you or Ziggy.” Abby