Rules for Being a Mistress Read Online Free PDF

come to Bath to find a wife, in fact.”
    “Then it’s London you want, not Bath,” she said knowledgeably. “From what I hear, all the English girls go to London on purpose to find husbands. So they’re halfway to the altar already, right? And you, with your good looks, and your fine, dry wit, you’d slay them.”
    “I’ve tried London,” he said, a little disconcerted by this advice. “My plan in coming to Bath was to find some plain, dull, respectable woman to be my wife. She needn’t even be pretty. She could have a hump for all I care. All I ask is that she be young enough to give me a son, and sensible enough to leave me alone after that.”
    Cosy burst out laughing. “Plain, dull, respectable, with a hump! Where exactly do you plan on finding this dream girl?”
    “It is no laughing matter,” he said coldly, which only made her laugh more. “For myself, I wouldn’t marry at all, but there’s the baronetcy to consider, and the electorate. They will expect me to marry an unexceptional woman. The moment I saw you, Miss Cosy, I knew that all my carefully laid plans were in jeopardy. To put it bluntly, you are too beautiful.”
    “Ben!” she said, hitting him on the knee. “Are you flirting with me?”
    “I never flirt,” he said curtly. “I am perfectly serious. Your presence here can only mean trouble for me—trouble I can ill afford. How am I supposed to pursue a marriage with some dreary, good woman when you’re here? You look like bloody Venus!” he accused.
    She laughed. “You’ve met Venus? What was she like? Was she as tall as me?”
    “The point is,” he said sternly, “any woman I court would suspect me of harboring some secret, passionate regard for you. There would be gossip. I’m a respectable man, Miss Cosy. The last thing I need is gossip. That being the case, I have no choice but to make you an offer. I don’t like it; it is not the way I hoped to start things off here in Bath. But I have considered the matter very carefully, and it is the only logical thing to do.”
    Her eyes were round. Hastily, she held up both hands. “I’m going to have to stop you right there, Ben, before this becomes awkward.”
    He scarcely paused. “Obviously, you are a very desirable female. I am prepared to offer you generous terms. You would want for nothing for the rest of your life.”
    He realized that he sounded rather like a corporation attorney but he couldn’t help that. To fly off into romantic rhapsodies would have been so out of character for him that it would have amounted to a form of deception, and, if she was to share his bed, Miss Cosy deserved to know his true character. He was neither passionate nor romantic.
    “If it is the thought of intimacy that repels you, let me reassure you on that score. I would not presume to enjoy relations with you more than, say, twice a week. Twice a week is not unreasonable, surely, for a woman of your age.”
    “No,” she was obliged to admit. She had already remarked the sad lack of children in the city of Bath; now she understood why it should be so. Where the adults came from remained a mystery to her. “Do you think you might be a wee bit drunk, Ben?” she asked him gently.
    “I am not drunk,” he said, annoyed. “Consider this: if you accept me, it will be in my power to present you to a better class of gentlemen than you are likely to meet with in Bath. Nothing would be beyond your reach in London. I certainly wouldn’t stand in your way if you got a better offer and decided to leave me.”
    Cosy was on her feet. “I’m afraid, sir,” she said indignantly, “that in Ireland we take marriage rather more seriously than this! Why, in God’s name, would I marry a man who couldn’t be bothered to stand in my way?”
    Benedict blinked at her. “Who said anything about marriage?” he demanded.
    “You did! Didn’t you?”
    “I wasn’t asking you to marry me,” he said vehemently. “Do you think me a fool?”
    Cosy was