Roxy’s Story Read Online Free PDF Page A

just another
     runaway teenager, with so many more serious problems to face.
    After the first few days, the reality hardened. I realized that Papa would resist
     reporting me to the police or permitting Mama to do so this soon. He would be too
     embarrassed at work if his colleagues found out, and if the police brought me home,
     he wouldn’tfeel victorious at all. He’d have to accept me without my surrendering, and he would
     have to assume most of the blame for an underage girl being thrown out onto the streets.
     I was still weeks away from being eighteen.
    At first, I had no idea what I was going to do or how long I would remain where I
     was. I suppose anyone who has been thrown out of her home or has run away begins by
     thinking of other relatives to go to. Going to my father’s family would probably be
     worse than going home. For all I knew, my grandfather would have me court-martialed
     and put in some military brig to scrub floors and wash dishes for years.
    Rushing off to Mama’s family in France loomed as a possibility, but I wasn’t stupid.
     I knew I had to get more money together for such a trip. Perhaps more important, I
     knew how everyone there would react. They’d want me to go home immediately, and my
     uncles and aunts would force me onto the next flight back to the States. Relatives
     provided no hope, no option. I had no friends close enough to trust or concerned enough
     with my welfare to offer me any assistance here, either. Realizing that brought home
     the reality of who I was and how I had lived my life until now.
    I would probably be the first to admit that I was too bitter, too selfish, and too
     distrusting to form any solid relationships with other girls. By now, most of them
     knew how their parents would feel about their being too friendly with me, even though
     I could see that so many wanted to be. They thought I couldteach them things none of their other friends could, and there was the attraction
     to someone or something dangerous. However, I was the quintessential bad influence
     who, if I didn’t get them to be as bad as I was, would do something wrong when they
     were with me that would get them into trouble, anyway. It was the old guilt-by-association
     thing. I might as well be carrying a fatal disease. Maybe I was. Even my teachers
     had begun to avoid contact with me recently, choosing to pretend I was invisible until
     I did something they couldn’t ignore.
    Only Mr. Wheeler made any real effort to save me. He said he could tell from the way
     I wrote that I was far brighter than my grades revealed.
    “You could do something with your life,” he said. “You could be proud of yourself,
     Roxy.”
    “Who says I’m not?” I fired back at him.
    He smiled, his soft gray-blue eyes twinkling with that irony he could express and
     see in what others said or did. “You hate yourself, Roxy,” he replied softly. “Others
     might fall for your act, but don’t try to cover it up with that false bravado when
     you’re talking to me. Remember your Macbeth . ‘False face must hide what the false heart doth know.’ ”
    I didn’t spit something smart or nasty back at him. I could see how unhappy he was
     for me and how much he hated telling me that.
    “Stop fighting everyone who wants to help you,” he added. “Get that chip off your
     shoulder before it’s too late.”
    I didn’t want to continue the conversation. He wasthe only one who could bring me to tears, and if there was one thing I never wanted
     to do, it was cry for myself or give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me do it, especially
     at school. My father had taught me that much. Good soldiers don’t whine. They grin
     and bear it. What was I living as in my father’s house if not a good soldier? I thought. Soldier up!
    For the first few days at the roach hotel, I was comfortable deceiving and lying to
     myself, telling myself that I would be just fine on my own. I had enough money to
     get by eating