Rotten Apple Read Online Free PDF Page B

someone at a bookstore and let them see that I was buying a book by the Queen of Hearts, even if it was on every bestseller list.
    “Well, you will find someone when you stop looking so hard,” Apple’s mother told Hazel.
    “Here we go again,” Aunt Hazel said. She sounded remarkably like Apple had earlier that day. Apple realized that, at this moment, she sympathized with her aunt. They both knew what it was like to get unwanted advice all the time, yet it seemed as if Aunt Hazel, unlike Apple, could not stop herself from moaning to Apple’s mother all the time about her personal problems. Crazy Aunt Hazel constantly complained about her sister’s unwanted advice, but she still called her a thousand times a day telling her about her pathetic love life. What did she expect?
    “Do you really think you’re the only one out there having a hard time meeting someone special or being in a healthy relationship?” Apple’s mother continued. “You should watch my show more often.”
    “Do
not
compare me to those nut jobs on your show,” Aunt Hazel demanded.
    “Amen to that,” Apple added quietly.
    “I can’t believe I’m related to you two,” Dr. Bee Bee Berg said. “Do you know that, right now, I have about eight hundred e-mails from my viewers asking me for my advice on love problems? Are you telling me that they are all nut jobs? I don’t think they are.”
    “Can we just eat without all the drama?” Apple asked. She was sick of talking and hearing about relationships and about all the people in the world who had relationship problems and needed advice. If her mother and Crazy Aunt Hazel kept talking like this, it wouldn’t be long before one of them asked
her
if she had a love interest or any issues with a guy.
    “Doug! Doug! Dinner is on the table! We’re all here and waiting for you! In fact, we’ve already started without you,” Apple’s mother yelled out to her father, who was somewhere in the house. She turned back to her sister.
    “Relationships are about compromise,” Bee said.
    “Oh, please, let this stop! Leave me alone,” moaned Aunt Hazel.
    “Fine then, I will,” said Bee Bee. “But you know I’m right.”
    “Do you really believe that anyway, Apple? Is that what you do with your boyfriends? Do you compromise?” her aunt asked, saying the word “compromise” as if it was a dirty word.
    Dr. Bee Bee Berg turned to Apple, suddenly looking very interested.
    “Apple, tell me, is there any boy in your school that I should know about?” her mother said. “Is Hazel right? Is there someone? I know there must be someguy you’re interested in. When I was fifteen, I had a whole bunch of boyfriends—it was such an exciting time. Now is the time, Apple, to enjoy male relationships, because they’re not nearly as complicated as they will be when you get older. Look at what Hazel goes through.”
    “Thanks, Bee Bee!” Hazel said, sarcastically.
    “No, Mom,” Apple said, shooting her aunt an evil look. “There is no one I’m interested in. If we must talk about relationships, let’s get back to Aunt Hazel?” Her aunt shot an evil grin back at her.
    “Oh, come on! I know you’re lying to me. A mother can tell these things. There must be someone you are interested in. What about that boy Hopper in your class?
He’s
nice-looking!” her mother said.
    “He’s also a bit of an ass,” Apple responded.
    “Language please, Apple,” her mother said, disapprovingly. “It’s not feminine to talk trashy.”
    “Well, you asked …,” said Apple.
    “I know you’re keeping something from me, Apple, and I know it will eventually come out. The truth always does.” Apple feared her mother really might know what was going on in her head. Her mother’s intuition when it came to matters of the heart was amazing, and quite frankly scary sometimes. She could, for example, tell exactly when one of her guests on
Queen of Hearts
was going to cry—she always managed to hand them a tissue