Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures Read Online Free PDF

lowest part of the scale and are defined as abnormally low. A similar minority fall in the highest part of the scale and are defined as abnormally high.10
    If' we were to consider such a thing as height, for example, most people are of "normal" height, a small percentage are "abnormally" short, and a similar minority are "abnormally" tall. Abnormal in this case does not mean crazy or sick; it simply means the lowest and highest ends of the scale.
    The same thing that can be said about height, weight, strength, or beauty can be said about jealousy. The majority of people are in the middle (that is, the "normal") range of the jealousy scale. The few that arc at the highest end of the scale, who see a threat even when none exists, arc "abnormally" jealous; the few in the lowest part of the scale, who don't see it threat even when it's obviously there, are "abnormally nonjealous"
    This point is more than a mere semantic distinction. All too often, people who experience jealousy are so shaken by the intensity of their emotions and the things they find themselves doing or wishing they could do-such as spying on an ex-lover or day-dreaming about destroying a house with a sledgehammer-that they jump to the conclusion "I must be crazy!" This kind of a conclusion is not very useful and is also very likely incorrect. Most "normal" people experience intense jealousy when a valued relationship is threatened.
    Actually, from the description of the way jealousy is expressed and treated in different cultures, one may conclude that "normal" is simply that which is considered an appropriate response in a particular culture." No matter how abnormal a certain response to jealousy may seem, chances are that it is (or was) considered normal somewhere.
    This is not to say that there aren't cases of abnormal jealousy, which is to say, pathological, delusional, morbid. There are, but they are few and the exception. We hear so much about them precisely because they are truly outside the "normal" range and are therefore particularly fascinating both to the lay person and to the professional. 22
    Most abnormal cases of jealousy have one or both of the following features: (1) they are not related to a real threat to a valued relationship, but to some inner trigger of the jealous individual, and (2) the jealous response is excessive, dramatic, exaggerated, or violent. This may be a good place to introduce the distinction between chronic and acute jealousy.
    Chronic and Acute Jealousy
     
     
    Acute jealousy happens to people who never thought they were jealous when they discover that their partner has been unfaithful. While their reaction is a response to a real event, it is often excessive, dramatic, exaggerated, and experienced by them as abnormal. Indeed, it has been suggested by several writers (e.g. Glass & Wright, 1997; Lusterman, 1995) that the symptoms of ►nany betrayed spouses are strikingly similar to the posttraumatic stress reactions of the victims of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. The symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) cluster into three categories: intrusion, which involves recounting and reexperiencing the trauma (e.g. traumatic images of the moment of the discovery, obsessive ruminating, flashbacks); constriction, which is evidenced by avoidance and numbing behaviors (e.g. loss of interest in other people and the outside world); and I►yperarousal, which is characterized by physiologic arousal and extreme hypervigilance (e.g. insomnia, irritability, startle responses) (American Psychiatric Association, 1994).
    While the outside manifestations of acute and chronic jealousy may be similar, the cause of the jealous response and its duration are very different. In the case of acute jealousy, the response is extreme, but it is temporary and to a specific event. In the case of chronic jealousy, the individual indicates a predisposition to jealousy that is related to childhood experiences and low self-confidence. This