years.
“Really!” He gapes at me. “I know that app. I use it all the time. And you made those other ones…” He scratches his chin as though remembering. “The workout apps for like running and biking through the post-apocalyptic worlds.”
“Guilty,” I reply and feel a flush of pride at the awe in his expression.
“So what are you doing now?”
My momentary high sinks back into my feet.
I’m suddenly feeling trapped by his attention.
Seconds ago he thought I was someone interesting. How do I tell him I’ve been doing nothing whatsoever for the last six months?
“Well I… I’ve been sort of just taking a break,” I say.
I’ve been sitting on my butt waiting for my absent boyfriend to have time to play with me.
Wait.
Is that what I’ve been doing?
The thought came out of nowhere but it makes sense. Before I can brood further Damon is talking again.
“Three years – no contest agreement. That’s got to suck.”
The words are so correct that I laugh out loud, slapping a hand over my mouth.
“Yeah. That says it all,” I reply.
“I don’t know if I could do it. I don’t know if I could give away doing what I love just for an amount of money.”
“It was good business sense,” I defend my decision.
“According to who?”
Suddenly it all spills out.
I can’t stop the words – they’re just all coming like they’ve been sitting just behind my consciousness, waiting for someone to notice them.
It’s like a dam breaking.
I tell him about my passion for creating interfaces that connect people to my creations but also to each other, and I tell him about the nothingness that was left when I signed that contract.
At the time, it wasn’t even a choice.
It was just good business.
Signing the contract meant I never had to work again if I didn’t want to.
But who am I if I’m not doing what I love, if I’m not following my passion?
Damon listens, and it’s like he really understands what I’m saying.
He tells me about his father wanting him to go to law school and take over the family firm. He talks about how he went there but it felt like it wasn’t him.
“I realized that it didn’t matter what other people want me to do or what I ‘should’ do. Sitting in lectures, listening to people talk about things that I didn’t care about, it made me feel dead inside.”
“I know that feeling well,” I whisper.
“One lecture, when they were talking some old case that set a precedent back in 1895, I knew it was over. I knew that I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew I had to follow my heart and do what I loved.”
I feel such a strong connection with Damon.
And it’s not like the connection I feel with Joshua.
With Joshua, our connection is woven thick with longing and sexual chemistry.
With Damon, it’s a connection I’ve never shared with anyone besides Nicole.
I can’t help noticing the way he and the sexy bar man exchange a knowing smile and when he looks back at me, he brings a finger to his lips. I nod to let him know that his secret is safe with me.
“I’m going to give you something,” he says and pulls a card out of his wallet and writes on the back.
Is he asking me out?
“My friend Carmen owns an up-and-coming game company and they’re looking for good people. It’s small but they have some interesting ideas, and Carmen knows what she’s doing.”
I’m about to interrupt but he waves me off.
“It’s console – not mobile or tablets – so it won’t break your contract. You might find the new medium a challenging shift but...” He gives me a knowing smile. “I don’t think that will be a problem for you.”
He holds the card up and flips it expertly between his fingers to show his photo and details on the front and then he hands it to me.
A sneaky way to give me his phone number…
Chapter 9
As I drive home from the party, I put my phone on speaker and call Joshua.
I’m flushed and humming with happiness,