arrival time a secret. It has been so long since we were together, but the feelings that hit me when I heard his voice made me realize I still loved him as much as ever.
I can still remember our conversation before I left Dallas the last time. Chip and I were sitting under one of the old trees close to the house, and he asked if I would change my mind.
“My bags are packed. And I can’t stay here. With mom gone, it’s just too hard.” What I didn’t tell Chip was the ultimatum my father had given me. If I didn’t stop seeing Chip, one of my father’s best cowboys, he would fire him and make sure he couldn’t get another job in Texas.
Richard, my father, had always maintained a very strict “them” and “us” mentality. My grandmother was a blue blood, and raised him to preserve that line. I was a debutante, swimming in tulle and silk, escorted by Dwight Johnson. His family shared blood with Lyndon Johnson, making him “suitable” to my father, but all he did was grope me and drink whiskey from a flask he hid in his tuxedo. Before the main course was served, he was asleep—not that it bothered me. Everything about that life was too restrictive—the dresses, the parties, the proper topics of discussion. It felt like a play, my script and costume all laid out for me.
The only place I felt free was out on the land, among the livestock and astride my horse, Penny. She was a beautiful chestnut quarter horse, but I thought she looked like a Penny when she was given to me for my eighth birthday. Together, Penny and I galloped over miles of the ranch, going wherever we wanted. She was my best friend, and it was while riding her that I met Chip. I was seventeen, and had been exercising Penny. We tore through the back pasture, kicking up dirt. Sunlight glinted in my eyes, and I looked to find it was coming from a stranger standing next to my father. They watched me, leaning against the fence, and I slowed. My riding wasn’t for show.
Penny was confused by the abrupt downshift, but she kept a steady walk as we headed back to the barn.
“Good girl,” I soothed, brushing her coat to a beautiful sheen. “We’ll have an adventure later.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you all from an adventure,” a low voice drawled. “Your pa’ was just showin’ me the land out back of the house.”
I stopped brushing and turned sharply. “You didn’t factor into my coming back here. I don’t know you.”
“Not yet,” he smiled, rubbing his blonde hair. “I’m Chip. It seems your father wants to bring some cattle in and I’m going to help.”
In my eyes, Chip was everything my parents couldn’t approve of. He dropped letters on too many words, worked with his hands all day, and had the gall to talk to his ‘betters’. He was perfect. I reached out to offer my hand and he shook it. I smiled, in spite of myself.
“Your father said you could show me the boundaries of the ranch.”
“All right. If you think you can keep up with me.”
His blue eyes sparkled with the challenge, and I pointed toward a horse and tack he could use.
“Penny, our adventure is here sooner than I thought,” I whisper. She stamps her hoof and shakes her mane, impatient to get going.
Thinking of Penny makes my heart ache. I wonder if she still gets to run about. Miami is too humid for her, after twenty years living in Texas, or I would bring her back with me. That, and I live in a one-bedroom condo. It’s a different kind of freedom—living alone, right by the water. A peaceful freedom.
Old Ruts and Pork Butts
After several hours, the pilot announces final descent into Dallas, and my stomach begins to churn. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Chip. He could be married or might
Joan Elizabeth Klingel Ray