Romance Read Online Free PDF Page B

of…
    DEFENDANT: I…
    PROSECUTOR: Spawning, this sick, heretic, Liberal Humanistic Pagan Bullshit, about God and “many forms” …
    DEFENDANT:
WHO DIED AND LEFT YOU BOSS?
    PROSECUTOR: … Your Honor … ?
    DEFENDANT: “Jesus”?
    DEFENSEATTORNEY : Oh.No.
    PROSECUTOR: I beg your pardoN?
    DEFENDANT: Jesus. A
Jew.
Oy. Are we affronted, that He Died on the Cross. And
we
can't mention: Him. Except every third sentence in your bullshit, hypocritical, Goy day …
    PROSECUTOR: I object…
    DEFENDANT: In between raping your children, and, and …
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor …
    DEFENDANT: Bombing abortion clinics, and all.
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor, I must strenuously object to this, vicious, vile …
    DEFENDANT: Y OU fucking goyim, with “your wives named Marge.”
    JUDGE:
My
wife is named Marge.
    DEFENDANT: Oh, my prophetic soul.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor, what my client intended to say, in referring to “your wife named Marge” …
    PROSECUTOR: What the hell does that mean, My Prophetic Soul?
    JUDGE: … did I take my pill?
    DEFENDANT: It's Shakespeare.
    PROSECUTOR: Oh, bullshit.
    JUDGE: Why is he talking about my wife?
    DEFENDANT: Aha, and why don't you like Shakespeare … ? Because he was a Jew.
    BAILIFF: He was a Jew?
    DEFENDANT: Y OU bet your boots.
    PROSECUTOR: But that's preposterous.
    DEFENDANT: I S it?
    PROSECUTOR: Yes.
    JUDGE: Why is it preposterous?
    DEFENDANT: Why is it preposterous?
    PROSECUTOR: It is preposterous because … because …
    DEFENDANT: I'm waiting.
    PROSECUTOR: Because: Shakespeare was not a Jew.
    JUDGE: What was he?
    PROSECUTOR: What was he?
    DEFENDANT: Yeah.
    PROSECUTOR: He … was a
Christian.
    DEFENDANT: N O Christian can write that good.
    JUDGE: What do you say to that?
{Pause)
Come on, you want me to do something for you,
you
do something
    for
me. (Pause)
    PROSECUTOR: I …
    JUDGE: Assuage my ignorance.
    PROSECUTOR: I,
(Pause)
The question before this court…
    BAILIFF: He was a Fag. I know he was a Fag.
    JUDGE: … he was a Fag … ? Shakespeare?
    BAILIFF: Yup.
    JUDGE: “Shakespeare,” who they Teach in Schools?
    BAILIFF: Your Honor, yes.
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor …
    JUDGE: T O , to, to, to, to the “little children” ?
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor, I must object.
    JUDGE: Why, are you a Shakespearean scholar?
    PROSECUTOR: N O , Your Honor—
(Big pause for effect)
I am a homosexual.
(Pause)
    JUDGE: What is it you guys actually “do” ?
(Pause)
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor …
    JUDGE:
Seriously … (Long pause)
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor, the respresentatives of two …
    JUDGE: And could he not have been a Jew
and
a Fag?
(Pause)
Could he not have been Two Things … ?
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor, we have, today, an Historic Opportunity.
    JUDGE: And how am I to decide?
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor?
    JUDGE: I mean, ‘cause, we can't go back, to, uh, Elizabethan times, and see if, uh, if Shakespeare Plucked his Eyebrows.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor …
    JUDGE: Y OU know, and if he sometimes “forgot,” to wear socks with his penny loafers. So: Someone has Got To Decide.
{Pause)
You see, this is the age-old problem facing Jurisprudence. This, see,
this is
the thing you never think of. “Oh, I'd like to sit up there, and sentence people to Death, and have a reserved parking space,” and so on. It never occurs to you that there's a
burden
which comes with it. Nooo. The Burden of Office. That burden is …
{Pause)
Uh …
{Pause)
It's
uncertainty. {Pause)
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor,
Tomorrow
, the Representatives of Two Great Powers … convened in our city will depart, if,
IF.
Your Honor …
    JUDGE: N O
wonder
Solomon cut that baby in half!
You
would, too! You fucken Goody Two-Shoes.
“No! Don't
cut it in half. It's a human
being!” …
Oh please.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor.
    JUDGE:
Spare
me …
    PROSECUTOR: Your Honor …
    JUDGE: … for the problem … give me another pill… it is not what fraction into which you will divide the Child; one half, one quarter … it's