Roc And A Hard Place

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Book: Roc And A Hard Place Read Online Free PDF
Author: Piers Anthony
Tags: Humor, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
face formed in the cloud.  “You certainly seem mature for an itty bitty innocent child.”
    “It's all illusion.  I'm not what I seem.”
    Helen couldn't argue with that.  They continued for a while in silence as the scenery went by.  Far mountains shifted grandly, showing first one side, then another.  Forests sprang up, grew tall, then quit.  For a while they followed a paved road.  Every time it came to an intersection with another road, it puffed itself up into double the size, trying to impress them.  But it didn't work, because the other roads did the same.  Sometimes the crossing roads contested for power, throwing out masses of curving lanes.  The object seemed to be to touch the other road where it couldn't touch back, but evidently the roads had been at this contest for a long time, because every lane connected.  Some intersections looked like diamonds, and some like cloverleaves, and some like masses of spaghetti.  Sometimes a road chickened out and tunneled under the other, or bridged over it, but often there were still confusingly outflung lanes trying to score.
    Helen got bored with this, so resumed dialogue.  “What does the Good Magician have to do with the Simurgh?”
    “Wish I knew.  Where exactly does she live?”
    “I thought you'd never ask.  She lives in Oaf.”
    Woe Betide was puzzled.  “In what?”
     “Oaf.  It's a mountain range that encircles the Earth.”
    “A mountain of earth?”
    “Not exactly.  It's made of a single emerald.  It's pretty.”
    “I suppose so.  The Simurgh must like pretty things.”
    “The Simurgh likes the whole of everything.  But since she already has everything she needs or wants, what could you do for her?”
    “I wish I knew,” Woe Betide admitted.  “Maybe she's getting ready to replace the universe again.”
    Now the cloud was startled.  “What—with all of us in it?”
    “Well, maybe it gets dull for her, after a while.  Or dirty.
    She might prefer a fresh new one.”
    “But what would happen to all of us?”
    “Maybe we'd all be squished into nothingness.  Does it matter?”
    Helen considered.  “Probably not.  But the human folk might mind.” Then the cloud stretched.  “I'm going to take half a snooze.  Wake me if anything interesting appears.” The cloud settled into a featureless blob.
    Woe Betide was left to her own thoughts.  This really was a pretty easy trip.  In fact, it hadn't been all that hard to get into the Good Magician's castle.  True, Humfrey had grumped at her, but he had always been grumpy.  Had it been too easy?
    The more she pondered, the more the suspicion grew:
    Humfrey had wanted her to get in to ask her Question.  Because he had something for her to do.  Maybe he owed the Simurgh a favor.  Maybe the Simurgh had asked for the services of a demoness.  So Metria was it.
    She sighed.  So be it.  She would do what she had to do, so she could prevail on the stork to deliver a baby to her.  It was probably a fair deal.
    The horse slewed to a halt.  There was a massive chain across the road, so that they could not pass.  Woe Betide was tempted to float over it, but feared the horse wouldn't understand.  So she dismounted and stepped forward to inspect the nearest links.
    Each one was in a flat oblong shape, with printing on it.
    In fact, each had a single letter of the alphabet.  Woe Betide walked along beside the chain, reading the letters.  They spelled out:  THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER.  IT HAS BEEN THREE TIMES AROUND THE WORLD.  BREAK THE CHAIN AND YOU WILL BE SORRY.  JOE SCHMOE BROKE THE CHAIN AND NEXT DAY HE CAME DOWN WITH CROTTLED CREEPS.  JANE DOE PRESERVED THE CHAIN, AND SHE WON GREAT WONDERFULS.  REMEMBER, YOU MUST PASS THIS CHAIN MAIL ON WITHIN 48 HOURS, OR ELSE.
    Woe Betide considered.  Was this interesting enough to wake Helen for?  The demoness would be really annoyed if she missed something good.  This seemed good.  So she decided to let Helen sleep.
    Still, she
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