than an hour or two since the doctor had taken blood, recorded my pulse, inspected my throat and eyes with the same conical light theyâd had at School. Iâd insisted I was fine, and I was. The nausea had dissipated. The feeling in my hands had returned. The only remaining symptoms were the empty tensing of my stomach and the faint sour taste on my tongue.
I heard someone rolling a serving cart down the hallway outside, the wheels squeaking under the weight. I stood, my legs feeling weaker than I expected as I walked to the carved wood bookshelves, crouching down beside them. All three books were tucked safely on the bottom shelves, right where Moss had put them hours before. If what heâd suggested was correct, if someone had tried to poison me, Iâd need them sooner than Iâd thought.
âYouâre up . . .â Clara rubbed her eyes, then glanced at my hand, where my fingers still rested on one of the spines. âWhat are you looking at?â
âNothing,â I said, settling into the cushion beside her. âTrying to distract myself, thatâs all.â
Clara put her hand on my back. âIâve never seen you like that,â she said. âYou scared me.â
âI feel better already,â I said. âThe worst has passed.â
She ran her finger over the edge of the cushion, tracing along the thin white piping. âIâm glad. They couldnât reach Charles.â
âThat doesnât surprise me,â I said. âHeâs at a construction site in the Outlands. Heâll be gone until sundown.â
Her expression changed. I immediately felt guilty for saying what I hadâthe subtle acknowledgment that I knew his schedule better than she did. Clara and Charles were the only two teenagers whoâd been raised in the Palace, and sheâd always harbored feelings for him. Sheâd made me promise to tell her if he ever spoke of her. âHe hasnât said anything yet,â I offered, trying to comfort her. âYou know, most of the time when weâre talking weâre fighting. Weâre not exactly close.â I covered her hand with my own and she smiled, a small, pinpoint dimple appearing in her cheek.
âI must seem so foolish to you,â she said with a laugh. âIâm carrying on a relationship in my head.â
âNot at all.â
How many times had I stopped in Califia, imagining Caleb was there beside me while I sat on the rocks, watching the waves lap at the shore? How many times had I let myself believe that he was still here, inside the City, that heâd appear one day, waiting for me by the Palace gardens? I still spoke to him, in the quiet of the suite, still told him I wished to go back to everything before. There were times I had to remind myself that he was gone, that the death report had been filed, that what had happened could never be reversed. Those facts were my only tether to reality.
Before I could say anything more, the door opened, the King pushing into the room without so much as a knock. He did this sometimes, as if to remind me that he owned every part of the Palace. âI heard what happened,â he said, turning to me. I sat up straight, as the doctor came in behind him.
âIt was nothing,â I said, even though I wasnât yet sure. Moss had taken the remnants of breakfast to the Outlands, trying to get answers about what it contained.
âYou threw up twice,â he said. âYouâre dehydrated. You could have passed out.â
The doctor, a thin, bald man, didnât wear a white coat as the ones at School did. Instead he was dressed in a plain blue shirt and gray slacks, like any other office worker in the City center. Iâd been told it was safer this way. Even sixteen years after the plague there were feelings of resentment toward surviving doctors, questions of what they knew and when.
âYour father was concerned. Heâd asked if