Rider (Defenders M.C. Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page A

coming home to Lizzie.  Lizzie will help me.  Lizzie always helps me, even if she’s mad.”
     
    “Of course not.  No one does.  You have family here Rider.  The brothers are here to stand by you.  Remember who you are.  We are all here to help you.  Preach is pitching fits to anyone who will listen.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he is thrown in with you.”
     
    Rider looked up then and felt a measure of clarity for the first time in months.  His brothers were here.  That meant the world to him.  He nodded.
     
    “I may be a junkie Lace and I may like women, but I’m no rapist.  I fucking know that.”
     
    Lacey smiled the smile he loved.  “I do know that.  So let’s figure out how to get you clean and beat this fucked up charge.  I need you to want both.  I can’t help you if you don’t want it really bad.  Your brothers are doing what they do.”
     
    “I do.  I didn’t plan to be this way.”  He knew what it meant.  His brothers were hunting the assholes who were trying to get him thrown in jail.  They would spill blood for him, for his honor and they knew he would do the same for them.
     
    Lacey only nodded.  There was no judgment in her eyes and he felt like a pussy for feeling his eyes water.  He knew this would be harder than anything he had done before and more important.  He felt it deep down inside of him like it was gnawing on his bones.  This was the most important decision he would make in his life and probably the hardest to stick to.
     
    “Fuck I’ve become a pussy.  Shit.”
     
    Lacey laughed.  “Oh Rider.  You’ve always been one, it’s why the women love you so much… because of your sensitive side.”
     
    “Oh for fuck’s sake.”  He buried his face in his hands.  “I hate this shit.”
     
    “Let me take plLet me care of this Rider and you’ll be home before you know it.  When is the last time you had a hit?”
     
    “This morning.  It’s getting to me Lace.  I’m not sure I can take this.”
     
    “Alright.  I think you need to be in the hospital.  Heroin?”
     
    Rider nodded feeling like a piece of shit.  He had picked the granddaddy of them all.  She pulled a handful of butterscotch candies from her pocket and laid them on the table.
     
    “This won’t help much, but maybe just a tiny bit.  I will arrange for you to be moved to a hospital.  You cannot detox here safely.  If it gets too bad before you are moved you need to let someone know.  This can get dangerous.”
     
    Rider was afraid all the sudden.  If it was going to be that bad maybe he would just keep using.  He felt ashamed for even having the thought and then he was something else, he was angry.  The anger burned through him like lava through a forest.  It singed his pain, seared it until he couldn’t see anything but anger.  It also gave him focus.  He was angry with the Devils and with Ginny for fucking with his family and for fucking up his body.  He was angry with Lizzie for fucking Spec, for not seeing past his walls and loving him.  He knew it wasn’t fair, but he wanted to hate her, loving hurt too bad.  He was angry with his brothers for turning on him.  He was angry with Shaker for giving him this shit that had ruined him.  Mostly he was angry with himself.  He was angry for running away and leaving his mother and sister to deal with that abusive dick he called stepfather.  He was angry for leaving his young girlfriend when he found out his bull riding injuries had caused him to become sterile.  He was angry for the way he had treated Lacey and then Lizzie.  Most of all he was angry with the way he had blamed it all on someone else.  He had made his choices and never accepted responsibility and now he was accused of something he hadn’t done and he feared no one would believe him.  He remembered a story his mother had told him when he was small.  It was about a boy who lied until no one believed him and he was eventually eaten by