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are a pain in the neck. They’re coming too?”
    “Yep. But it’s Uncle Henry who’s the colossal pain in the neck of all times,” Susan said, “not to mention our sister-in-law Teensy, right, Maggie?”
    “It is poor taste to speak badly of one’s own family,” Maggie said. “And Henry is our patriarch, so he says.”
    Beth giggled to herself. “Who doesn’t talk about their relatives?”
    “You’re both right, of course,” Susan said, looking at them in false innocence. “I just think it’s a shame Henry can’t think of anything to talk about besides his wallet.”
    “And too bad that Teensy can’t find clothes to fit her size zero cadaver,” Maggie said. “But maybe if she didn’t spend so much time in the loo—”
    “She wouldn’t be so skinny,” Susan said, finishing Maggie’s sentence.
    “Yeah, and it’s a pity Uncle Henry’s charming boys got kicked out of Sewanee for plagiarizing term papers from the Internet,” Beth said. “If they hadn’t been caught with that case of liquor and all those files, they’d still be in college.”
    “Now, now,” Aunt Maggie said, “let’s be charitable. Phil’s going to finish up at Athens this fall and Blake is going to be a sophomore at Georgia State. They’ve learned their lessons.”
    Beth and Susan just looked at each other and shook their heads.
    “Yeah, sure,” Beth said. “And what about the rest of Uncle Timmy’s crew?”
    “Uncle Timmy and his slightly less exciting family will be here Friday morning,” Susan said. “Crazy or not, I can’t wait to see every last one of them. I mean it, y’all.”
    “Me too, but you have to say that Aunt Mary Jo is a little bit of a mouse,” Beth said. “At least their daughters are somewhere in the range of normal. Boring but normal.”
    “Hush now,” Maggie said. “They cannot wait to see you! They told me so three times. Timmy said his girls said the only way they were coming was if you were here.”
    “See?” Susan said, smiling like they had all just won the state lottery.
    “See what?” Beth said. “If they are all staying here, this place is gonna be a crazy house! Where’s everyone gonna sleep? Do we have help to clean up and all?”
    “What for?” Maggie said with her quiet smile. “We don’t need help. Why, we’re all healthy and you’re all young…If everyone pitches in, it won’t be a burden to anyone.”
    Beth began to stamp napkins with a vengeance. She had been brought home in shackles to watch a house that would be watching her and to cook and clean for a bunch of ingrates. Her cheeks and neck were scarlet and she knew it.
    “Have you heard from the twins?” Susan asked Maggie.
    “Sophie’s coming for sure. I think. But Allison? Who knows about Miss Hoity-Toity? She’s too important to return phone calls,” Maggie said.
    “She’s a pain in the A,” Susan said.
    “Aunt Sophie’s coming?” Beth perked up then because Aunt Sophie was her favorite and she rarely saw her.
    “As far as I know,” Maggie said. “She’s got a new cell number if you want it.”
    “Definitely,” Beth said.
    “Yeah, so big house party next weekend and then I’m off to Paris,” Susan said. “Incredible.”
    “It’s what you always wanted,” Maggie said. “Remember when you used to say you were going to run away to Paris and live in a garret and smoke French cigarettes?”
    “I was thirteen.”
    “Well, now you’re postmenopausal and isn’t Simon good to let you go?”
    “Thanks for reminding me not to pack tampons—”
    “Hush! Your! Mouth!” Maggie said in horror. “We’re in the kitchen !”
    “Whatever. You think the milk will go sour? Anyway, I did not need his permission. Like he asked me if he could go to California for a year to work with Grant?”
    “Like he could do anything about it anyway?” Beth said, trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard. “When my mom wants something that badly, I wouldn’t want to tangle with