Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again Read Online Free PDF Page B
Author: Jeffrey E. Young
Abandonment lifetrap. Let’s start with Question 1. Take your score for this item as a child and transfer it to the box just to the right of the word ABANDONMENT on the score sheet, next to the number 1 (under the Child column). Now take your score for this item now (as an adult) and transfer it to the next box 1 (under the Now column).
Next, look at your score for question 2 as a child. Transfer it to box 2, under the Child column. Then take your score for question 2 now and transfer it to the next box 2, under the Now column.
Look at all four of your scores for the Abandonment lifetrap. Which one is highest? Transfer your highest score (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6) into the last box on the Abandonment row. If your highest score is 4, 5, or 6, put a check mark in the first column. This √ means that Abandonment is probably one of your schemas. If your highest score is 1, 2, or 3, leave the box blank. This means Abandonment is probably not one of your schemas.
Now go ahead and fill in the rest of the score sheet in the same way.
LIFETRAPS SCORE SHEET
√
LIFETRAP
CHILD
NOW
CHILD
NOW
HIGHEST SCORE
Abandonment
1.
1.
2.
2.
Mistrust and abuse
3.
3.
4.
4.
Vulnerability
5.
5.
6.
6.
Dependence
7.
7.
8.
8.
Emotional deprivation
9.
9.
10.
10.
Social exclusion
11.
11.
12.
12.
Defectiveness
13.
13.
14.
14.
Failure
15.
15.
16.
16.
Subjugation
17.
17.
18.
18.
Unrelenting standards
19.
19.
20.
20.
Entitlement
21.
21.
22.
22.
INTERPRETING YOUR SCORES
We will now describe each of the eleven lifetraps briefly, just enough to acquaint you with each one. Refer to your score sheet: each lifetrap with a 7 next to it is likely to apply to you. Naturally, the higher your scores for each lifetrap, the more powerful it probably is for you, and the more impact it probably has had on your life. You will want to read more about each of the relevant lifetraps later, after you have finished the introductory chapters.
If you are unsure about whether a lifetrap applies to you or someone close to you, do not worry about trying to be sure now. When you get to the chapter devoted to each lifetrap, we will give you a much more detailed test you can take to be sure that it fits.
THE ELEVEN LIFETRAPS, BRIEFLY
Two lifetraps relate to a lack of safety or security in your childhood family. These are Abandonment and Mistrust.
• ABANDONMENT •
The Abandonment lifetrap is the feeling that the people you love will leave you, and you will end up emotionally isolated forever. Whether you feel people close to you will die, leave home forever, or abandon you because they prefer someone else, somehow you feel that you will be left alone. Because of this belief, you may cling to people close to you too much. Ironically, you end up pushing them away. You may get very upset or angry about even normal separations.
• MISTRUST AND ABUSE •
The Mistrust and Abuse lifetrap is the expectation that people will hurt or abuse you in some way—that they will cheat, lie to, manipulate, humiliate, physically harm, or otherwise take advantage of you. If you have this lifetrap, you hide behind a wall of mistrust to protect yourself. You never let people get too close. You are suspicious of other people’s intentions, and tend to assume the worst. You expect that the people you love will betray you. Either you avoid relationships altogether, form superficial relationships in which you do not really open up to others, or you form relationships with people who treat you badly and then feel angry and vengeful toward them.
Two lifetraps relate to your ability to function independently in the world. These lifetraps are Dependence and Vulnerability.
• DEPENDENCE •
If you are caught in the Dependence lifetrap, you feel unable to handle everyday life in a competent manner without considerable help from others. You depend on others to act as a crutch and need
Next, look at your score for question 2 as a child. Transfer it to box 2, under the Child column. Then take your score for question 2 now and transfer it to the next box 2, under the Now column.
Look at all four of your scores for the Abandonment lifetrap. Which one is highest? Transfer your highest score (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6) into the last box on the Abandonment row. If your highest score is 4, 5, or 6, put a check mark in the first column. This √ means that Abandonment is probably one of your schemas. If your highest score is 1, 2, or 3, leave the box blank. This means Abandonment is probably not one of your schemas.
Now go ahead and fill in the rest of the score sheet in the same way.
LIFETRAPS SCORE SHEET
√
LIFETRAP
CHILD
NOW
CHILD
NOW
HIGHEST SCORE
Abandonment
1.
1.
2.
2.
Mistrust and abuse
3.
3.
4.
4.
Vulnerability
5.
5.
6.
6.
Dependence
7.
7.
8.
8.
Emotional deprivation
9.
9.
10.
10.
Social exclusion
11.
11.
12.
12.
Defectiveness
13.
13.
14.
14.
Failure
15.
15.
16.
16.
Subjugation
17.
17.
18.
18.
Unrelenting standards
19.
19.
20.
20.
Entitlement
21.
21.
22.
22.
INTERPRETING YOUR SCORES
We will now describe each of the eleven lifetraps briefly, just enough to acquaint you with each one. Refer to your score sheet: each lifetrap with a 7 next to it is likely to apply to you. Naturally, the higher your scores for each lifetrap, the more powerful it probably is for you, and the more impact it probably has had on your life. You will want to read more about each of the relevant lifetraps later, after you have finished the introductory chapters.
If you are unsure about whether a lifetrap applies to you or someone close to you, do not worry about trying to be sure now. When you get to the chapter devoted to each lifetrap, we will give you a much more detailed test you can take to be sure that it fits.
THE ELEVEN LIFETRAPS, BRIEFLY
Two lifetraps relate to a lack of safety or security in your childhood family. These are Abandonment and Mistrust.
• ABANDONMENT •
The Abandonment lifetrap is the feeling that the people you love will leave you, and you will end up emotionally isolated forever. Whether you feel people close to you will die, leave home forever, or abandon you because they prefer someone else, somehow you feel that you will be left alone. Because of this belief, you may cling to people close to you too much. Ironically, you end up pushing them away. You may get very upset or angry about even normal separations.
• MISTRUST AND ABUSE •
The Mistrust and Abuse lifetrap is the expectation that people will hurt or abuse you in some way—that they will cheat, lie to, manipulate, humiliate, physically harm, or otherwise take advantage of you. If you have this lifetrap, you hide behind a wall of mistrust to protect yourself. You never let people get too close. You are suspicious of other people’s intentions, and tend to assume the worst. You expect that the people you love will betray you. Either you avoid relationships altogether, form superficial relationships in which you do not really open up to others, or you form relationships with people who treat you badly and then feel angry and vengeful toward them.
Two lifetraps relate to your ability to function independently in the world. These lifetraps are Dependence and Vulnerability.
• DEPENDENCE •
If you are caught in the Dependence lifetrap, you feel unable to handle everyday life in a competent manner without considerable help from others. You depend on others to act as a crutch and need
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