Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again Read Online Free PDF

especially difficulties in relationships, self-esteem, and career problems. We want to address behavior, but we also want to address the ways that people feel and relate.
    The next chapter begins with a questionnaire to help you discover which lifetraps apply to you.

2 WHICH LIFETRAPS DO Y OU HAVE?
     
    In this chapter, we will help you identify which lifetraps seem most pertinent to your life.
    Rate each of the next twenty-two statements in terms of how true each is of you on this six-point scale.
     

----
    SCORING KEY
     
Completely untrue of me
Mostly untrue of me
Slightly more true than untrue of me
Moderately true of me
Mostly true of me
Describes me perfectly

----
     
    First, rate how true the statement was of you as a child. If your answer would be different for various times in your childhood, choose the rating that best fits the way you felt in general up until the age of twelve. Then, rate how true each item is of you now, as an adult. If your answer would be different for various periods Of your adult life, choose the rating that best applies to you in the past six months.
     
THE LIFETRAP QUESTIONNAIRE
     
AS A CHILD
NOW
DESCRIPTION
 
 
I find myself clinging to people I’m close to because I’m afraid they’ll leave me.
 
 
I worry a lot that the people I love will find someone else they prefer and leave me.
 
 
I am usually on the lookout for people’s ulterior motives; I don’t trust people easily.
 
 
I feel I cannot let my guard down around other people or they will hurt me.
 
 
I worry more than the average person about danger—that I will get sick or that some harm will come to me.
 
 
I worry that I (or my family) will lose money and become destitute or dependent on others.
 
 
I do not feel I can cope well by myself, so I feel I need other people to help me get by.
 
 
My parents and I tend to be overinvolved in each other’s lives and problems.
 
 
I have not had someone to nurture me, share him/herself with me, or care deeply about what happens to me.
 
 
People have not been there to meet my emotional needs for understanding, empathy, guidance, advice, and support.
 
 
I feel like I do not belong. I am different. I do not really fit in.
 
 
I’m dull and boring; I don’t know what to say socially.
 
 
No one I desire who knew the real me—with all my defects exposed—could love me.
 
 
I am ashamed of myself; I am unworthy of the love, attention, and respect of others.
 
 
I am not as intelligent or capable as most people when it comes to work (or school).
 
 
I often feel inadequate because I do not measure up to others in terms of talent, intelligence, and success.
 
 
I feel that I have no choice but to give in to other people’s wishes; otherwise they will retaliate or reject me in some way.
 
 
People see me as doing too much for others and not enough for myself.
 
 
I try to do my best, I can’t settle for good enough. I like to be number one at what I do.
 
 
I have so much to accomplish that there is almost no time to relax and really enjoy myself.
 
 
I feel that I shouldn’t have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.
 
 
I can’t seem to discipline myself to complete routine, boring tasks or to control my emotions.
 
 
YOUR TOTAL SOCIAL EXCLUSION SCORE
    (Add your scores together for questions 1-10)
     
     
     
     
USING THE SCORE SHEET
     
    Now you are ready to transfer your scores from the questionnaire to the score sheet The sample questionnaire and sample score sheet below show you how to do this:
     
SAMPLE QUESTIONNAIRE ITEMS
AS A CHILD
NOW
DESCRIPTION
3
2
I find myself clinging to people I’m close to because I’m afraid they’ll leave me.
5
4
I worry a lot that the people I love will find someone else they prefer and leave me.
     
     
SAMPLE QUESTIONNAIRE ITEMS
√
LIFETRAP
CHILD
NOW
CHILD
NOW
HIGHEST SCORE
√
Abandonment
3
2
5
4 . 4
5
     
     
     
     
    Questions 1 and 2 are both part of the