Red, White and Beautiful

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Book: Red, White and Beautiful Read Online Free PDF
Author: Bec Botefuhr
getserious.
    “Whydidn’twetalkinthecar?Itdidn’tseemtobeonyourmind then.”
    Hisgazehardens.“See,thisisexactlywhatI’mtalkingabout.
    You’resnappingatmeovernothing.That’sbecauseyou’restillangryat me.Weneedtotalkaboutwhathappened,sowedon’tcarryitaround.”
    “Ithoughtyouweregoingtopunishmeforwhathappened?”Iretort.
    “Isn’tthathowyouwork,Marcus?Don’tyoujustwanttospankme,fuck meandmoveon?”
    Hismouthformsahardlineandherunsahandthroughhishair.“Is thatwhatyoureallythinkofme,Sierra?”
    “Yes,sometimesitis.You’reheretellingmeyouwanttotalktome, afteryougotyourrocksoffinthelimoonlytenminutesago.Wherewas the‘serious’talkthen,Marcus?”
    “Gotmyrocksoff?”hesays,inanangrytone.“Really?”
    “Well,thatseemedfirstonyourtodolistearlierandnowyouwant to,”Imakeairquotes.“Talk.”
    “Growup,Sierra.YouwantedthatasmuchasIdid.”
    I’mbeingchildish,believemewhenIsayIknowthis,butIdon’t care.I’mangryandhurtandyeah,he’sprobablyright,wereallydoneed totalkaboutwhathappenedbecauseit’sstillpinchingaspotdeep,deep inmychest.Iclosemyeyes,tryingtogathersomecalm.WhenIopen them,Marcusisstaringatthewall,hisfaceamassofanger.
    “Fine,”Ihuff.“Whatdoyouwanttotalkabout?”
    “I’mnottalkingtoyouwhileyou’reactinglikeachild.”
    Igape.“Areyouserious,Marcus?Youjustthrewitouttherethat youwanttotalkwhenItriedtolayamoveonyou.Itwasokforyouto layyourmoveonmeearlier,butnowit’snot?”
    “Webothwantedthat,”herepeats.
    “Fine,whatever.I’mgoinghome,Idon’tneedthiscrapallover again.Youcanneverseewhatyou’redoingwrongandI’mnotgoingto putupwithitconstantly.Youhaveangerissues,youseriouslydo.”
    Igripmypurseandstormtowardsthedoor,buthe’stherebeforeI eventakethreesteps.Heblocksmypathandputshishandsup,ina gestureoftruce.“I’msorry,baby,ok?”
    “Idon’twanttofacewhathappened,”Ihalfyell,“becauseIdon’t wanttothinkmaybethisisn’treal.”
    “Youdon’tthinkI’mserious?”hesays,loweringhishands.
    “Lessthanaweekago,youtoldmeyouwouldn’thurtChayne.Now, suddenly,you’reokwithit.”
    “Iwasn’tokwithitthenbecauseIhadachoice,whenyouwalked out,youmadethechoiceformeandIrealizedIwaswrong.Losingyou, Sierra,mademeseethatwehavesomethingthatChayneandIneverhad.
    Ididn’trealizeituntilyouwalkedouthowmuchthatmeanttome.Then IwasforcedtodecideforrealandIknewwhichwayIwouldswing.
    Chaynemadeherbed,nowshehastolieinit.Idon’twanttohurther, thathasn’tchanged,butIwon’tloseyouagain.”
    ImeethisgazeandIcanseethetruthinhisbrowndepths.
    “Youhurtme,Marcus,whatyoudidwithChayneandwhatyouknew aboutmebeforeyouemployedme…”
    “Iknow,”hewhispers.“Idon’tknowwhatIcandotofixthat.”
    “Canyoujusttellmewhy?”Isay,meetinghisgaze.
    “Look,IheardwhathappenedandIsawapictureofyouandIfelt…I don’tknow…Ifeltsomething.Ifeltapull.Isawyou’dbeenhurt.Iknew rightawaywhattheinjurieswereandIwasinsuchabadplace,Ithought Icouldhelpyou.Idon’tknowwhyIeverputyouinthatposition,andfor thatI’msorry.”
    “Idon’twanttofeellikeaproject,Marcus.”
    “Baby,”hewhispers.“You’llneverbeaprojecttome.”
    “Iknow,”Isay,droppingmyhead.
    Hestepsforward.“Tellmewhatyouwantmetodotomakethis better,I’lldoanything.”
    “Ijustwantyoutopromisemethisisreal,”Iwhisper.
    Hegripsmyface.“It’sreal,Iswearittoyou.Iwantyou,Sierra,I wanteverypartofyouwithme,everydaythatIcanhaveyou.Ipromise todomybestnottohurtyouagain.”
    Inod,meetinghisgaze.“Thenwhatistheretotalkabout?”
    Hestrokesmycheek.“Promisemesomething?”
    “Anything.”
    “Youwon’trunfrommeagain?Ifyou’reeverhurting,youtalkto mefirst.”
    “Ipromise.”
    “ThenIguesswe’redonetalking.”
    “Yousaidyouwantedtopunishmeforrunning?”Isay,meetinghis gaze.
    “Yes,”hemurmurs,lookingatmylips.
    “Iwanttopunishyouforhurtingme,socanwemakea compromise?”
    Henarrowshiseyes.“Ok?”
    “Iwanttochoosehowweplaythisout.Iwanttopickmy punishment.Iwantyoutogivemethecontroltonight.Thisway,we’re
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