getserious.
“Whydidn’twetalkinthecar?Itdidn’tseemtobeonyourmind then.”
Hisgazehardens.“See,thisisexactlywhatI’mtalkingabout.
You’resnappingatmeovernothing.That’sbecauseyou’restillangryat me.Weneedtotalkaboutwhathappened,sowedon’tcarryitaround.”
“Ithoughtyouweregoingtopunishmeforwhathappened?”Iretort.
“Isn’tthathowyouwork,Marcus?Don’tyoujustwanttospankme,fuck meandmoveon?”
Hismouthformsahardlineandherunsahandthroughhishair.“Is thatwhatyoureallythinkofme,Sierra?”
“Yes,sometimesitis.You’reheretellingmeyouwanttotalktome, afteryougotyourrocksoffinthelimoonlytenminutesago.Wherewas the‘serious’talkthen,Marcus?”
“Gotmyrocksoff?”hesays,inanangrytone.“Really?”
“Well,thatseemedfirstonyourtodolistearlierandnowyouwant to,”Imakeairquotes.“Talk.”
“Growup,Sierra.YouwantedthatasmuchasIdid.”
I’mbeingchildish,believemewhenIsayIknowthis,butIdon’t care.I’mangryandhurtandyeah,he’sprobablyright,wereallydoneed totalkaboutwhathappenedbecauseit’sstillpinchingaspotdeep,deep inmychest.Iclosemyeyes,tryingtogathersomecalm.WhenIopen them,Marcusisstaringatthewall,hisfaceamassofanger.
“Fine,”Ihuff.“Whatdoyouwanttotalkabout?”
“I’mnottalkingtoyouwhileyou’reactinglikeachild.”
Igape.“Areyouserious,Marcus?Youjustthrewitouttherethat youwanttotalkwhenItriedtolayamoveonyou.Itwasokforyouto layyourmoveonmeearlier,butnowit’snot?”
“Webothwantedthat,”herepeats.
“Fine,whatever.I’mgoinghome,Idon’tneedthiscrapallover again.Youcanneverseewhatyou’redoingwrongandI’mnotgoingto putupwithitconstantly.Youhaveangerissues,youseriouslydo.”
Igripmypurseandstormtowardsthedoor,buthe’stherebeforeI eventakethreesteps.Heblocksmypathandputshishandsup,ina gestureoftruce.“I’msorry,baby,ok?”
“Idon’twanttofacewhathappened,”Ihalfyell,“becauseIdon’t wanttothinkmaybethisisn’treal.”
“Youdon’tthinkI’mserious?”hesays,loweringhishands.
“Lessthanaweekago,youtoldmeyouwouldn’thurtChayne.Now, suddenly,you’reokwithit.”
“Iwasn’tokwithitthenbecauseIhadachoice,whenyouwalked out,youmadethechoiceformeandIrealizedIwaswrong.Losingyou, Sierra,mademeseethatwehavesomethingthatChayneandIneverhad.
Ididn’trealizeituntilyouwalkedouthowmuchthatmeanttome.Then IwasforcedtodecideforrealandIknewwhichwayIwouldswing.
Chaynemadeherbed,nowshehastolieinit.Idon’twanttohurther, thathasn’tchanged,butIwon’tloseyouagain.”
ImeethisgazeandIcanseethetruthinhisbrowndepths.
“Youhurtme,Marcus,whatyoudidwithChayneandwhatyouknew aboutmebeforeyouemployedme…”
“Iknow,”hewhispers.“Idon’tknowwhatIcandotofixthat.”
“Canyoujusttellmewhy?”Isay,meetinghisgaze.
“Look,IheardwhathappenedandIsawapictureofyouandIfelt…I don’tknow…Ifeltsomething.Ifeltapull.Isawyou’dbeenhurt.Iknew rightawaywhattheinjurieswereandIwasinsuchabadplace,Ithought Icouldhelpyou.Idon’tknowwhyIeverputyouinthatposition,andfor thatI’msorry.”
“Idon’twanttofeellikeaproject,Marcus.”
“Baby,”hewhispers.“You’llneverbeaprojecttome.”
“Iknow,”Isay,droppingmyhead.
Hestepsforward.“Tellmewhatyouwantmetodotomakethis better,I’lldoanything.”
“Ijustwantyoutopromisemethisisreal,”Iwhisper.
Hegripsmyface.“It’sreal,Iswearittoyou.Iwantyou,Sierra,I wanteverypartofyouwithme,everydaythatIcanhaveyou.Ipromise todomybestnottohurtyouagain.”
Inod,meetinghisgaze.“Thenwhatistheretotalkabout?”
Hestrokesmycheek.“Promisemesomething?”
“Anything.”
“Youwon’trunfrommeagain?Ifyou’reeverhurting,youtalkto mefirst.”
“Ipromise.”
“ThenIguesswe’redonetalking.”
“Yousaidyouwantedtopunishmeforrunning?”Isay,meetinghis gaze.
“Yes,”hemurmurs,lookingatmylips.
“Iwanttopunishyouforhurtingme,socanwemakea compromise?”
Henarrowshiseyes.“Ok?”
“Iwanttochoosehowweplaythisout.Iwanttopickmy punishment.Iwantyoutogivemethecontroltonight.Thisway,we’re