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big change and a challenge for me to adjust to this new way of life. I had to heat water outside over a fire in a big cast iron kettle. I even started cooking some of the meals outside because it was so hot inside the cabin. I learned more where things were located which made it easier to cook meals for Roscoe. When it was time for bed, I was often so exhausted, I just fell into bed without even changing into a nightgown. He looked to be as tired as I was and he was still sleeping in the barn at night.
    Whenever we sat at the table for meals, we talked and got to know one another. He was the baby of his family of six kids.
    He was born in the Arkansas Mountains, but his family moved to Texas when he was very young. When he was fifteen years old a Comanche war party attacked his home and everyone was killed. The only thing that saved him was one of his brothers’ fell on top of him when he was killed. The Indians thought he was dead, so they rode away.
    He buried all his family there on that homestead, said goodbye and rode off. He held many different jobs growing up. But the one he loved more than all the others was punching cows. He decided then and there, that one day he was going to own a cattle ranch. And here he was, his very own cattle ranch. He agreed that it needed a lot of fixing up, but it was all his, free and clear.
    I told him about my parents dying and how I had to live with my aunt and uncle from the time I was fourteen. We talked about one another’s wishes for the future.
    I felt the heat rise in my face when he said he wanted at least four kids. I felt the desire in my heart that I wanted to be a mother, but did I want this man to be the father of my children? To be completely honest with myself, I was afraid of his size. I was afraid he would hurt me.
    The more I learned about him the easier it was to accept that we maybe could be intimate. He explained why he wasn’t dressed up when he came to pick me up at the train station. He had spent half the night helping a mother cow birth a calf. He didn’t take the time to change clothes because he didn’t want me to have to wait for him.
    “Do you chew tobacco all the time? I haven’t noticed you spitting since I got here.”
    “I chew when I’m under a lot of stress, and it was mighty stressful trying to deliver that calf. I know it’s a filthy habit and I’ll work on stopping completely. I want very much to be a good husband for you.”
    “Thank you for that. I want to be a good wife for you.” I could feel the heat rising in my face again. “I think I’m going to the creek this evening. I feel I could use a nice bath.”
    “Alright, when you return, I’ll do the same.”
    “Roscoe?”
    “Yes?”
    “When you get back from the creek, you don’t have to sleep in the barn.”
    “Are you sure? I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
    “I told you I want complete honesty and to be completely honest with you, I am scared to death. I have never been with a man.”
    “You don’t have to worry. I promise I won’t hurt you. You can stop any time you want to. How’s that sound?”
    “Ok I guess. Now, I’m going to the creek. I won’t be long.” As I walked to the creek, I thought, “What have I just done? I invited that giant of a man to join me in bed tonight. What would he do if I backed out? He did say I could stop at any time. I can’t do that to him. He does seem like a nice person and he is, after all, my husband. He has every right to demand his husbandly privileges, and he hasn’t done that. Maybe it will turn out alright.”
    I washed in the creek and dressed in my frilliest nightgown. I went back to the cabin and passed Roscoe on his way to the creek.
    He winked as he passed. “See you in a jiffy, Red Rose, my sweet Red Rose.”

CHAPTER EIGHT
    During my cleaning spree, I had stuffed the mattress with clean, fresh straw. It still wasn't the best, but it was a lot better. I pulled the freshly washed