Reckless Heart Read Online Free PDF

dances and rituals and sacred songs to learn and understand. One must go alone to a high place and pray to Maiyun for a vision, for a man without a vision could never hope to be a great warrior. One must endure the agony and ecstasy of the Sun Dance, that most sacred of all Indian rituals. At sixteen, Shadow was ready to seek his vision. Ordinarily, a boy set out on his vision quest at the age of fourteen. But because Shadow had been spending so much time with the Kincaids, the medicine man had advised him to wait. One did not seek help from the gods unless one’s heart was wholly in time with the Great Spirit. And one could not be completely in harmony with Maiyun when one was busily learning the ways of the white man. So spoke Elk Dreamer, the medicine man.
    But Shadow was ready now. And so, according to tribal custom, he went first to counsel with Elk Dreamer. Upon receiving the shaman’s instructions, he proceeded to the sweat lodge to purify his body for the coming ordeal, accompanied by his father and the medicine man. Naked, they sat in a small circle inside the sweat lodge. Elk Dreamer sang the sacred songs and chants while Shadow’s father poured cold water over the hot rocks piled in the center of the lodge. Great clouds of steam filled the tiny brush hut, and as the sweat poured from his body, Shadow emptied his mind of all thoughts, all desires, all worldly ambition, and silently prayed that the Great Spirit would grant him a vision.
    Time passed slowly. The words of the sacred chants ran together in his mind. Enveloped by a curious sense of weightlessness, he closed his eyes, content as one unborn in its mother’s womb.
    After what seemed like hours, Elk Dreamer indicated it was time to leave the sweat lodge. Rising, the three men rushed outside and plunged naked into the icy stream that gurgled behind the camp.
    Shadow gasped as the frigid water closed over him. For a moment he was numb and unable to move. His breath seemed frozen in his lungs, and he wondered fleetingly if he would drown. But then an unexpected rush of strength surged through his limbs, filling every fiber of his being with a wild exhilaration, making him feel more alive, more aware, than ever before.
    Early the following morning, clad only in clout and moccasins, Shadow climbed the high hill that rose in rocky splendor behind the village. It was not an easy climb, and it took him several hours to reach the top. At the summit, he squatted on his heels and stared down at the village. When he’d caught his breath, he pulled a small leather pouch from his clout and reverently offered a pinch of tobacco to the four directions, to earth and sky, chanting softly all the while. That done, he stretched out on the barren ground, arms raised, and cried to Maiyun for a sign.
    Time passed slowly. He grew thirsty. His belly rumbled for food. Night came, and shivering with cold, he slept fitfully and woke with the rising of the sun.
    The second day passed as the first.
    The third also. His tongue grew fat in his mouth, and hunger was a constant ache in his belly. His voice sounded weak in his ears as he offered the last of his tobacco to the four directions, to Man Above and Mother Earth. Lying on his back, arms outstretched, he beseeched the Gods for help, but only endless silence and the sun’s hot rays answered his cries.
    The fourth day. Waking, he did not rise but stared at the horizon, watching in awe as the sun climbed over the mountains, painting the gray sky canvas with slashes of color, until the heavens were alive with all the brilliant hues of the rainbow.
    “Perhaps it is a sign,” he thought dully. “Perhaps, on this, my last day, a vision will come.” How could he face his father if it did not?
    Summoning the last of his strength, he raised his arms skyward and lifted his voice in mighty supplication.
    “Hear me, Man Above, father of all life! Hear me, and grant me a vision, lest I perish!”
    For the space of three heartbeats a