Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs Read Online Free PDF Page A

guy had some serious intuition. Or experience with women. Of course he did. It was his business to know what a woman wanted.
    He turned to Florence. “I can’t imagine, Florence, that you’re serious about needing to lose weight. You’re here to support your friend, of course.”
    Flo smiled, preening under his dazzling smile and obvious approval of her perfect figure. “I think Glory looks great. As you say. But she wants to be smaller. So I have to help my BFF.” Flo ran her hands down the sides of her hips in her size-six designer dress that was obviously straight from a Rodeo Drive boutique. “I would like to lose just a few pounds. If I could choose where they would come from.”
    “Like the liposuction that mortals use.” Ian shook his head. “Afraid I can’t help you there. There’s no predicting where the weight will come off. I say you should leave your body alone. What does your husband say?”
    “Why, I wouldn’t dream of asking him.” Flo glanced at me. “We are still on our honeymoon. Now, after centuries of being on my own, I can’t imagine asking Richard’s permission for anything.”
    “Of course not.” Ian winked at me. “But I’m sure a clever woman like yourself makes your Richard think he’s in charge, eh, Florence?”
    Flo smiled. “It’s a game I play. I ask him for some things. If he really loves me, he must give me what I want. He always does. And it makes him think he’s my lord and master.” She shrugged, the gesture pure Italian. “So I do a little manipulation. It’s a survival skill that has served me well for centuries. Capisca? ”
    “Sure, I get it. It’s a fine art, one I admire in a master crafts-man or craftswoman.” Ian moved a step closer to Florence.
    Flo’s eyes narrowed on Ian and she shook her head. “Why I tell you this? I think I’m not the only one who likes a little manipulation.”
    Ian just kept watching my friend while I tried not to screech at both of them to get back to what was important here, namely my hip measurement. Flo and Ian engaged in a stare-down until Flo suddenly nodded.
    “So. We are here for my friend. Help her. Glory looks like she is ready to scream, she’s so tired of waiting to find out if this diet thing is true or not.”
    Ian turned and grinned at me. “Relax, Glory. It’s true and I think I can help you. Let me guess. You want to lose ten, maybe fifteen pounds. Is that right?”
    For once I was speechless. I swayed toward him. My ultimate dream would be to lose twenty. So that people would come up to me and ask me if I’d been sick. Urge me to eat. Who knows? I might even discover cheekbones I never knew I had. You get my drift? I was jerked back from my fantasy by a hand on my other arm.
    “This is good news. But we must go now, Glory. Jeremiah will be looking for you. You must meet with Ian later. When you are not with his enemy. Sì? ” Flo smiled at Ian. “Is it really possible? You’re not playing with us, are you?”
    “Oh, it’s possible. Just not sure it’s something I’m willing to do for a Campbell’s woman.” Ian frowned. “Why would I do one of those dung-eating sods a favor?”
    That certainly snapped me out of my hero-worshipping trance. “You wouldn’t be doing him a favor; you’d be doing it for me . I’m engaged to another man. Seriously. Read the tabloids if you don’t believe me.” I knew I wasn’t making sense and took a breath. “Jerry’s my sire. He made me vampire centuries ago. So I owe him, you know? But I’m engaged to Israel Caine, the rock star. We’re out here in Los Angeles for the Grammys. Jerry followed us.” I was shielding my thoughts with a block the size of the Great Wall of China. “I came to the club to be with my friends Flo, Damian and Richard. Israel’s busy with Grammy stuff tonight or he’d be here.”
    “You’re engaged to a mortal?” Ian stared at me, those sapphire eyes rightly very suspicious. He had up his own block and there was no reading