Reading the Ceiling Read Online Free PDF Page A

disco, in case you came back.
    Amina says Yuan was looking for you everywhere yesterday. She left him at the party, waiting for you because he wanted to take you home. She says you should ring her back immediately.
    Remi rings but does not leave a message.
    While the phone rings and Kainde collects my messages, I stay in my bedroom. The curtains are still flowery blue. The walls are still yellow. And the stupid sun is still washing the air with heat.
    â€˜What’s wrong?’ asks my mother the next morning.
    â€˜Just tired,’ I reply.
    â€˜What’s up with you?’ says Taiwo.
    â€˜Mind your own business,’ I answer.
    Kainde continues to write down my messages. She knocks with a murmur of explanation, and then shoves pieces of paper under the door.
    â€˜Thank you,’ I reply to each one.
    I feel empty. Reuben has not brought knowledge.
    Remi’s reaction is what I would have expected.
    â€˜Lord have mercy! With Reuben!’
    She shakes her head, covers her eyes with one hand. She opens her mouth, closes it again. She holds her chin with her left hand to ponder, and then asks, ‘What was it like?’
    I twist my mouth in response. Yes. With Reuben.
    â€˜When my dad came to pick me up, he thought you’d want a lift. He wondered who you went home with. And whether your mother knew.’
    â€˜So what did you say to him?’
    â€˜That I didn’t know.’ She pauses and scratches her nose, ‘But I thought Yuan was the one. How on earth did you end up with . . .?’
    She shuts up when she sees my face.
    On one of the days when I spend more of my time in my bed than anywhere else, Aunt K comes around. I hear her way down the corridor, talking to Kainde.
    â€˜ Watin do am ? What’s wrong with her? Boy trouble? You say boy ? Let me go talk with her.’
    Her footsteps accompany her comments to Kainde. ‘There are certain things in life you shouldn’t hurry along. Look at Aunty Beedi – it wasn’t until she was in her fifties that she found someone to settle down with. That’s the kind of thing that’s enough to make anyone live long. Look at her, she’s just like a young girl now. Her face is fresh, she’s always giggling when I meet her out shopping.’
    She stops outside my door. ‘ Which borbor dis ? Which boy? You don’t know? She didn’t say? You’re her sister – you should talk to her. I won’t always be around, you know.’ She raps on my door, three sharp ones. She enters my room and says, ‘ Comut dooyah . Open up. I have something to say to you. Might as well let me in now, or I’ll shout it out in the corridor. Right here where I’m standing.’
    I get up to let her in. My door has been locked, key-locked, all day.
    *
    After Aunt K leaves, my mother delivers two weak taps on my door.
    â€˜Yes, Ma,’ my dry throat scrapes out as an answer.
    She says, ‘I heard Kiki in the corridor. About you having boy trouble. I’ve talked to you about this kind of thing before.’ Her voice sounds odd, a bit higher in pitch than usual. Ma breathes deep at the end of her sentence.
    â€˜I’m OK. It was just Kainde telling tales.’
    â€˜So there’s nothing I should worry about? Nothing I should know?’
    â€˜No, Ma, nothing.’
    â€˜Don’t forgot what I’ve told you.’
    â€˜I know, Ma, men are only after one thing.’
    â€˜That’s right. And when they get it, they don’t stay.’
    At the door, she grabs the handle. She goes out but her footsteps do not go away. How can she ever begin to understand what it’s like inside me? I scowl at the shadow of her legs falling in two thick lines on the little crack of air under my door. She stands there as I listen to her listening for me.
    Amina barges into my bedroom the next day. ‘Why didn’t you ring me back?’
    Her arms move to rest on her hips, akimbo. I know