Randal Telk and the 396 Steps to Sexual Bliss Read Online Free PDF Page B

beer. There was nothing wrong with Yolanda that her husband showering and brushing his teeth wouldn ’ t solve. Dr. Telk listened as the husband spit another wad of chew into a plastic water bottle, voicing more complaints about her frigidity.
    Under the desk, Yolanda seductively rubbed and walked her bare foot up Dr. Telk ’ s leg. It was not unusual for women to want sex with Dr. Telk. It happened a lot in therapeutic sessions. Normally, Dr. Telk let just Freud ’ s ‘ talking cure ’ techniques run their course. But these two repeat customers refused to listen.
    The American Psychiatric Association recognized the three-hundred-ninety-six steps to sexual bliss therapy as a safe exception to the Hippocratic Oath, when prescribed and expertly administered by Dr. Randal Telk. The ‘ Telk Exception ’ enjoyed a one - hundred - percent success rate in purging hurting, unhappy, confused, sexually repressed, and suicidal thoughts from mentally fragile and emotional female patients.
    Sweeping conflict of interest issues aside, Dr. Telk boldly led Yolanda down the hall for a private session. It was obvious this was an emergency case. Yolanda ’ s clothes were off almost immediately after entering the private study. Dispensing with the instructional video, required for civil liability concerns, Dr. Telk suggested a few warm-up stretching exercises. Yolanda refused.
    “ I was born limber, ” she insisted, shuddering when Dr. Telk took off his protective sunglasses, exposing one brown and one blue eye. Some women experienced organism just gazing into those dangerous seductive multi-colored eyes.
    With the flip of a switch, Barry White music played, lava lamps churned, and a disco ball started turning. Dr. Telk ’ s professional instincts told him setting a proper mood was important, and not to hurry. A thick shag rug, heart-shaped water bed, and ceiling mirrors complemented Dr. Telk ’ s therapeutic love-making mecca.
    Dr. Telk pulled Yolanda by her luscious blond hair to his chest. Step one complete. Telk bit her neck hard enough to be painful but not injure. Step two complete. He nibbled her ear lobes. Most women remember very little at this point, but Yolanda remained remarkably lucid, demanding step four. When Dr. Telk bit her fingers, Yolanda was already overcome by loud rapture.
    By the time Yolanda ’ s left leg was placed behind her neck, and her right leg behind his neck, Dr. Telk knew this women was special. At step two-hundred-three , Yolanda had not fainted even once, giving as much as she received. Yolanda was a keeper, and Dr. Telk was determined not let his love get away.
    It was a very satisfied woman that hobbled into the waiting room five hours and three minutes later. Yolanda applied an ice pack to cool off, barely noticing her husband.
    “ I am sorry but I cannot save your marriage, ” apologized Dr. Telk. “ Your case is my first failure. You can have most of your money back. I recommend divorce for irreconcilable differences. ”
    “ Are you sure? ” asked the husband, disappointed as he spit on the carpet. “ I ’ ve given the matter a lot of thought. I can change. I ’ ll shower more often , if that ’ s what it takes . I’ll even us e soap. ”
    “ Get out! ” ordered Dr. Telk. “ You ’ re a miserable failure that I cannot help. I suggest suicide or joining the Foreign Legion. The sooner you die in battle , the better. Don ’ t come back! ”
    Dr. Telk assisted Yolanda back to his couch so she could rest and recover. “ Tomorrow I will show you Randal ’ s Big Bang Theory, if you feel up to it, my love. ”
    “ I want to have your babies! ” gushed Yolanda . A s she drifted off to sleep , she mumbled, “I’m skipping ahead to step four-hundred-twenty-three. Oh , God! ”
     
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    “ Oh God! ” shouted Telk, writhing in pain on the debris covered floor. “ Medic, medic! ”
    “ We don ’ t have a medic anymore, ” advised Sergeant Williams. “ Hang in there,