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breath and slow my breathing.
    “Fuck.”
    I pul ed myself off the floor, holding onto the sink for support. I turned on the water, splashed it on my face, and washed the sleep away before reaching for my toothbrush.
    Every morning, just the same. Tuesday would prove to be no different.
    I showered and dressed, dreading this dinner thing. Feeling desperate, I even considered asking Mom, but figured it would not be cute to bring my mother. I was sure it ran more along the lines of pathetic.
    I walked to the front door, bent over to pick up my bag, and reached for my keys on the entryway table. I paused, looking at the photo atop it, the one of me with my arms wrapped around Melanie. We were both smiling, just

    moments after I had walked across the stage for my high school diploma, back when we believed nothing could tear us apart.
    God, I missed her.
    I arrived at the office just before eight, trying to ignore the steady increase of pressure in my head. I had so much to do. I couldn’t believe the amount of stress one building could cause.
    “Good morning, Lisa.”
    “Good morning, Dr. Montgomery.” Her smile was warm, soothing.
    “Any messages for me this morning?”
    “Um...there are a couple here from the answering service.” She searched through the stacks of papers on her desk, digging out the smal pile of notes and handing them to me. I tipped her a smal nod in thanks and walked into my office.
    Sinking into my desk, I checked my appointments for the day before thumbing through the messages. The first two were from the bank.
    The last was from Vanessa.
    “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.
    That girl had been hounding me for months. I real y screwed that one up. I should have known better, but she’d completely caught me off guard.
    She was a drug rep from one of the larger pharmaceutical companies, and it was clear she wanted to get her foot in the door, knowing how much money a practice like ours would bring her. I met her the first week we’d arrived in Chicago. Some of our business partners had set up a mixer to get the word out about the new practice, generating interest and referrals right away.
    I knew it the first time I saw her. She was just the same as the rest, looking for an easy way to get ahead and using whatever means she thought would get her what she wanted. She sought me out, knowing exactly who I was and what I could do for her. My first instinct was to run. But she was relentless, and I’d had too much to drink.
    Nine years ago I’d learned it best to stay away, but there were times when I became weak, tired—tired of being alone—and I’d relent to the smal voice in my head that insisted it was okay. Just like last night. Never once had I not regretted it.
    But that first time was the worst. Stephanie had been my study partner in col ege, and she was there when I needed someone to ease the pain. I’d believed her to be my friend. It turned out al she wanted me to do was forget the love of my life; pretend that I was meant to be with her.
    It only happened once, and it was the last time I ever saw Stephanie. I was so angry that she’d taken advantage of my emotional vulnerability, angry with myself for being so weak, but I guess she couldn’t help how she felt any more than I could.
    I realized later I had wanted to believe somebody else could make me feel the same way Melanie had, the complete ecstasy we felt when we were one. But that feeling could not be replicated. Melanie’s body fit mine as if we’d been carved from the same stone, each made for the other.
    She could not be replaced.
    Realizing that, you’d think I’d be stronger, that I’d run from the regret I’d have after waking up next to a girl I knew I could never love or even care for.
    But sometimes experiencing that regret was better than fal ing asleep alone.
    With Vanessa, though, it was different. It hadn’t been about two people giving into their bodies, succumbing to the physical. It was about someone