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procedure, they also do other tests,’ he announces,
regarding me carefully.
    ‘And?’
I press, nausea sitting in my gut.
    He
holds my gaze for a long beat before replying.  ‘Did you know your brother
took drugs?’
    ‘Drugs?’
I whisper, confusion etching my mind. 
    ‘He
was pumped full of Cocaine,’ he murmurs, softly.  ‘There were also traces
of tranquilizers, probably to help him sleep.  In my experience, that
suggests regular usage. Cocaine keeps them high; the tranqs help them down when
they need to sleep.’
    I
close my eyes at the pain that runs through me. 
    ‘You
okay?’ Detective Austin’s voice penetrates my mind.
    ‘He
was a druggy?’ I question, my voice is tight with emotion, my stomach tense.
    ‘Sophie,’
his hand stretches out and grasps mine softly.  ‘I know all this is hard
to take in, but I have to be honest with you, babe,’ his voice holds
regret.  I glance up at him, bewildered by this new information, he looks
concerned for my frame of mind.
    Taking
a deep breath in, I chastise myself for showing weakness.  I pull my hand
from the comfort of his grasp and sit up straighter.  ‘Okay, so does that
mean we are looking for his dealer maybe? Someone who he owes money to?’
    He
sits back in the chair and regards me with intrigue.  ‘Possibly,’ the
concern disappears from his eyes, only to be replaced with what looks like respect.
He assumed I would fall apart. 
    I
nod, not allowing it to penetrate that he had used my name for the first time, and
called me babe , in that way that would, in different circumstances, have
my legs melting beneath me.
    ‘What
else aren’t you telling me?’ I tilt my head and stare him down.
    ‘Honey,
you may think that look is intimidating, but I have to tell you here and now,
the only thing it does it make you look even cuter than you do anyhow,’ his
lips twitch.
    ‘What?’
I scowl.
    ‘You
heard me,’ he sits forward when the waitress arrives and fills his coffee.
‘Thanks, darlin’,’ he smiles up at the flushed waitress.
    ‘You
need anything else, Nate?’ She purrs, sweetly.
    ‘I’m
good, thank you, Ali,’ he winks, and she beams, huge.
    I
raise an eyebrow towards him as I watch her over empathise the sway of her hips
as she saunters off.
    ‘Cute
kid,’ he explains.
    ‘Kid,
being the operative word,’ I hum to myself and hear him chuckle.
    ‘Careful
darlin’, you sound like you give a damn,’ he murmurs. 
    ‘Getting
back to the matter of Oliver,’ I encourage, ignoring the tip of my gut.  ‘What
else do you need to tell me?’
    ‘You
think you have it in you to identify the body?’ He probes, carefully.  ‘We
need a family member. I could call your dad, maybe?’ He suggests.
    ‘No!’
I respond, instantly.  ‘Leave my father out of it,’ then I add, ‘please.’
    He
nods, ‘needs to be done, as a matter of urgency.’
    ‘Today?’
I squeak, a ball of stress forming in my middle.
    ‘Have
your breakfast, then we’ll go,’ he suggests. ‘Best to rip the band-aid off,
London.’
    ‘You
taking me?’ I check, hoping and praying that he says yes, a familiar face would
feel good about now.
    ‘Yeah,’
he is watching me, sizing up whether I am going to lose it or not.
    ‘Don’t
think I can stomach anything now, can we go first I can eat later, maybe?’ I
almost whisper. Acid forms in my throat at the anxiety that is spreading
through my bones. I’ve never seen a dead body before, let alone a family
member.  When my grandparent’s died, five years ago, I refused to visit
them in the chapel.  I didn’t want that imprinted on my mind. This time, I
had no choice.  I was all he had.
    ‘Sure!’
He provides me a measured gaze, ‘you sure you up to this?’
    ‘I
need to do this for both him and me,’ I confide.  I needed to know for
certain, for my own piece of mind, that it was definitely my brother laying on
a slab in the morgue. I also needed to come to terms with the fact that the Ollie
I