Priestley Plays Four Read Online Free PDF

himself for that little contest – and I hadn’t. Now it’s my move.
    NINETTE:
(Eagerly.)
No – ours? Can’t
I
do something?
    MALGRIM:
(Confidentially.)
You can. As soon as the princess leaves with my uncle, be prepared to receive Sam –
    NINETTE: Sam? But they’re going to find him –
    MALGRIM: Yes, but they won’t find him. Because I shall find him first. And bring him here while they’re still looking for him there.
    NINETTE:
(With enthusiasm.)
Master Malgrim, I adore you.
    MALGRIM: Lady Ninette – again I’m flattered, delighted.
(Commandingly.)
Grumet, come here.
(Dwarf does. MALGRIM stares at him intently.)
I must read your mind, manikin.
    We hear, a long way off but coming nearer, the sound of saxophone and trombone. MALGRIM lifts an arm commandingly. We hear the noise of the whistling wind
.
    Lady Ninette, remember what you must do. Dwarf, we go together.
    As light goes, MALGRIM rushes GRUMET into the pillar, the wind noise rises. Saxophone and trombone are much louder. Light comes on the two players, who are like a pair of street musicians
.
SCENE FOUR
    Private bar of The Black Horse. Music can be heard playing outside, then going away. BARMAID behind bar, and a very dreary middle-aged man standing at bar. They begin talking as music fades out
.
    BARMAID:
(Colourlessly.)
No, he came in ’ere Tuesday, Mr Sanderson did.
    MAN:
(Drearily.)
He told me Wednesday.
    BARMAID: Might ’ave bin Wednesday – but I’d ’ave said Tuesday.
    MAN: He could ’ave made a mistake when he said it was Wednesday.
    BARMAID: That’s ri’.
(A pause.)
But I might be wrong when I say it was Tuesday, mightn’t I?
    MAN: That’s ri’.
    SAM enters, dressed as before
.
    SAM:
(Who seems very lively after these two.)
Good-morning! Good-morning!
    BARMAID:
(Lifelessly.)
’Mornin’. Turned out nice again.
    SAM: It has. Double gin and a glass of mild, please.
(As she turns to serve him, he looks at the MAN.)
In fact, I don’t remember a nicer thirty-first of June, do you?
    MAN: No, I don’t.
(Then, feeling uneasy, he takes out a pocketbook, clearly to consult the calendar, looking suspiciously from it to SAM, who is now receiving and paying for his drinks.)
    SAM:
(To BARMAID.)
Thank you! And how are – er – things?
    BARMAID: Quiet.
(To MAN.)
But I’d say it was Tuesday Mr Sanderson came in ’ere.
    MAN: I don’t say it wasn’t, but Wednesday he told me.
    BARMAID: That’s ri’. But that could ’ave bin ’is mistake, couldn’t it?
    MAN: It could. But you could be wrong when you say it was Tuesday, couldn’t you?
    BARMAID: That’s ri’! Could ’ave bin Wednesday like you say.
    MAN:
(Gloomily.)
If it wasn’t Tuesday. Well, I must be getting along.
Oh – reservoir!
    BARMAID:
(Gloomily.)
Ta-ta for now!
    SAM:
(Cheerfully.)
Goodbye!
    Man goes out. SAM swallows the gin and then tastes the beer
.
    BARMAID:
(Very slowly and sadly.)
Been quiet all week.
    SAM:
(Humourously.)
What about when Mr Sanderson was in here?
    BARMAID: You mean Tuesday?
    SAM: Yes, yes –
    BARMAID:
(Thoughtfully.)
Or Wednesday.
    SAM: Yes, yes, yes.
    BARMAID: Do you know Mr Sanderson?
    SAM: No, I don’t.
    BARMAID: Neither do I. Don’t know ’oo the ’ell ’e is – an’ don’t care neither.
    Enter CAPTAIN PLUNKET. He is a jaunty type of middle-aged man, with the complexion and style of a very hard drinker. He has a loud voice and is rather tight
.
    CAPT. P.:
(Shouting.)
’Morning, ’morning. Two double Scotches, dear – like lightning.
(Turns to SAM as BARMAID begins to get drinks.)
What will you have, sir?
    SAM: Nothing just now, thanks.
(Indicating his glass.)
Got one.
    CAPT. P.: Ever done a deal in flat-bottomed boats?
    SAM: No.
    CAPT. P.: Then don’t. It’s hell. I’ve been plastered since the end of April – mostly in Cornwall. Hate the bloody place. You’ve heard of me – Cap’n Plunket?
    SAM: No, I don’t think so.
    CAPT. P.: ’Course you have. Remember that film I introduced – all about the fish that climbs a tree. Same man.