my shield, and I could feel the combined concern of the surgical staff behind the doors. But I didn’t feel any emotions coming from Mrs. Baxter—only the pain. She was completely out of it, and that was a blessing, but I could feel her life force ebbing away. She needed to fight.
I opened the channels of energy within me, slowly at first. I listened over the bustle for the repetitive beeping of the monitor, indicating her heartbeats. It would be better if I could see the rise and fall of her respirations on the monitor—knowing both would help me know better when to stop—but I’d just have to guess.
I let a little more energy flow through, and I realized my mom was right—it would be hard for me not to heal her completely. Every fiber of my being wanted to throw the flood gates open, and unleash a torrent of healing energy. And why shouldn’t I? What good was I, if I couldn’t save the mother of the guy I loved?
The realization struck me like a slap across the face. I almost closed off the energy, I was so shocked. I love him? Searching my feelings, I realized it was true—I did love Alex. And I’d do anything to make him happy.
That just made the situation all the more precarious. Could I trust myself to make the right decisions, when my heart was on the line? Not only did I care about Mrs. Baxter…I loved her son. I couldn’t bear the idea of him facing the heartache of his mother dying. I couldn’t stand the look in his eyes if the doctors delivered that news. I’d do anything to save him from that pain.
Anything but give up my entire family.
Yet I found myself, unwittingly, letting more energy flow. When I realized it, my heart skipped, and I pulled back. I had to be extremely careful, if I wanted to avoid another Baxter family miracle.
I concentrated harder, trying to see inside Mrs. Baxter’s body. I knew that body scans over a long distance was impossible, and you had to be touching—or close enough to touch—in most cases, in order to get a clear scan of someone internally. But I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I could see something .
I closed my eyes and concentrated, imagining myself in the room beside her. I imagined myself moving my hands over her, and tried to recall what her body had looked like inside when I’d gotten a brief look. At first, I saw nothing. Then a hazy image came into view. The hot spots in her belly looked cooler now. I let the energy flow for another minute, then slowly tapered it off.
When I was done, I opened my eyes, and pressed my ear closer to the crack, listening to the monitor. The heart rate had evened out a little more. Hopefully I hadn’t gone too far, and I had just stopped the bleeding. I worried about possible swelling in her brain, but I thought that if the bleeding stopped, the swelling had probably stopped as well. At least, she’d have a chance of survival.
Chapter 4
As I pulled my eye back from the door crack, a noise made me jump. Somewhere, down a hall, voices approached. Fortunately, they were deeper in the surgical ward, not coming from the direction of the doors leading to the waiting room.
I hustled down the hall and slipped out the doors, shutting them qui etly behind me. Alex was there, waiting.
“How is she? Will she be okay?” he whispered, casting a glance back to where his father sat, head in his hands.
“I don’t know. We’ll have to see how things go.”
“I thought you were going to help her?” he raised his voice.
I shushed him. “I did!” I hissed. “But I told you I could only help her enough to give the doctors an edge. If they go in there and find healing bones and healed-up trauma, she’ll end up in some medical journal article!”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He paced away, running his hands through his hair. Then he turned and walked back. “Can you at least tell me how she
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley