Pirates to Pyramids: Las Vegas Taxi Tales Read Online Free PDF
Author: JJ Carlson
brought it to the shop so many times and they couldn't make it slip. They told me to go break it some more, then bring it back.
Me: So what did you do?
He: What could I do? I drove it and when I had to get out to load some bags I would have to keep an eye on it and keep the door open. I got so tired of being worried about it and sometimes having to chase it when it wanted to "surprise" me. I was losing sleep over the whole thing. So, I made up my mind. I would not chase it again, ever.
Me: You would not chase it again? How did that work out for you?
He: First, I very carefully chose my hotels that I served. For instance, I hung out at the Mandalay Bay because it has a huge front deck where the people are spread out wide.
Me: And, so what happened?
He: It finally happened. I went to Mandalay to pickup a ride and when I got to the back to help load the bags the car started moving. You should have seen the look on the doorman's face as he lifted the bag to the SUV and missed, because it was still rolling. He said to me, “Your car is rolling!” I said "I know".
He said, "Aren’t you going to stop it?"
"Nope, not any more."
Me: “Tell me what happened then. Did anyone ever stop it?”
He: “Oh, yeah. Some fast guy chased after it and stopped it just before it hit anything.”
Me: “You must have gotten in trouble for that one?”
He: “No. Hotel security called my company, with me standing there, and told them to come get this vehicle off their property and not let it back until it is totally fixed.
++++
His other car story showed what a character he was and how soon he would be retired from driving. Newsflash: Las Vegas gets hot in the summer. All cabs are supposed to have air conditioning but the poor motor can really get hot. Cab companies want you to protect their cars so they insist you pay attention to the engine temperature. They all say something like:
"If you burn up my motor, you just bought a motor." Or they could fire you.
He: So they gave me an old car that ran hot on a cool day so I took it to the shop to complain that it would not do well in the summer heat. They said to drive it carefully if I didn't want to burn up the motor. Then they laughed, the sickies.
Me: Did you make that part up? Never mind. What happened? I've got to hear this.
He: You know how hot it gets. I had to keep shutting it off to cool it down even though I was losing rides each time. One day when it was 112 degrees in the shade and I spent all day shutting it off. I got so sick of it that I finally limped the car back to the yard with the temperature gauge still climbing, I barely made it.
I parked right under the sign that says ‘burn it up and you bought it’. I went in to the shop and they told me to see my supervisor. As I was going into his office a commotion started outside. The car I brought back had burst into flames.
Me: You’re kidding me? You were really in the office when it caught fire?
He: Yep. The supervisor tried to put the blame on me. But I had been seen sitting in the shop for a while, so I said, sorry about your car. I turned it over to the shop 20 minutes ago. Funny, though, how it's parked under that sign.
Me: Oooooh, you got away with that comment?
He: He had to laugh and even though it wasn't his car, I didn't see me working for them much longer.
Evidently, I was right. He must have retired, because I have not seen him since.
Good for him and good for the visitors of Las Vegas.
BIG CITY GUYS AND THE PORN QUEENS
Sometimes drinking plays only a small part in a much bigger drama that is Las Vegas. One Sunday morning at 5:00 a.m., I picked up a carload of New York guys, but they could have been from anywhere and the story could have been the same.
It all started with the puzzle. There was something off about them. They were all too jolly for this time of day/night. I asked myself what is different
Me: So what did you do?
He: What could I do? I drove it and when I had to get out to load some bags I would have to keep an eye on it and keep the door open. I got so tired of being worried about it and sometimes having to chase it when it wanted to "surprise" me. I was losing sleep over the whole thing. So, I made up my mind. I would not chase it again, ever.
Me: You would not chase it again? How did that work out for you?
He: First, I very carefully chose my hotels that I served. For instance, I hung out at the Mandalay Bay because it has a huge front deck where the people are spread out wide.
Me: And, so what happened?
He: It finally happened. I went to Mandalay to pickup a ride and when I got to the back to help load the bags the car started moving. You should have seen the look on the doorman's face as he lifted the bag to the SUV and missed, because it was still rolling. He said to me, “Your car is rolling!” I said "I know".
He said, "Aren’t you going to stop it?"
"Nope, not any more."
Me: “Tell me what happened then. Did anyone ever stop it?”
He: “Oh, yeah. Some fast guy chased after it and stopped it just before it hit anything.”
Me: “You must have gotten in trouble for that one?”
He: “No. Hotel security called my company, with me standing there, and told them to come get this vehicle off their property and not let it back until it is totally fixed.
++++
His other car story showed what a character he was and how soon he would be retired from driving. Newsflash: Las Vegas gets hot in the summer. All cabs are supposed to have air conditioning but the poor motor can really get hot. Cab companies want you to protect their cars so they insist you pay attention to the engine temperature. They all say something like:
"If you burn up my motor, you just bought a motor." Or they could fire you.
He: So they gave me an old car that ran hot on a cool day so I took it to the shop to complain that it would not do well in the summer heat. They said to drive it carefully if I didn't want to burn up the motor. Then they laughed, the sickies.
Me: Did you make that part up? Never mind. What happened? I've got to hear this.
He: You know how hot it gets. I had to keep shutting it off to cool it down even though I was losing rides each time. One day when it was 112 degrees in the shade and I spent all day shutting it off. I got so sick of it that I finally limped the car back to the yard with the temperature gauge still climbing, I barely made it.
I parked right under the sign that says ‘burn it up and you bought it’. I went in to the shop and they told me to see my supervisor. As I was going into his office a commotion started outside. The car I brought back had burst into flames.
Me: You’re kidding me? You were really in the office when it caught fire?
He: Yep. The supervisor tried to put the blame on me. But I had been seen sitting in the shop for a while, so I said, sorry about your car. I turned it over to the shop 20 minutes ago. Funny, though, how it's parked under that sign.
Me: Oooooh, you got away with that comment?
He: He had to laugh and even though it wasn't his car, I didn't see me working for them much longer.
Evidently, I was right. He must have retired, because I have not seen him since.
Good for him and good for the visitors of Las Vegas.
BIG CITY GUYS AND THE PORN QUEENS
Sometimes drinking plays only a small part in a much bigger drama that is Las Vegas. One Sunday morning at 5:00 a.m., I picked up a carload of New York guys, but they could have been from anywhere and the story could have been the same.
It all started with the puzzle. There was something off about them. They were all too jolly for this time of day/night. I asked myself what is different
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