Pirate Talk or Mermalade Read Online Free PDF Page A

least Ma’s. I had all the tall tales of the life of the sea, without the spray. I did as Ma begged us—I stayed ashore.
    So sick you were of the tilt and slosh coming over, I did wonder your sudden loathing.
    Aye.
    My own brother making up a life he didn’t spend.
    Aye.
    But seeing Shanks and Luggams debouche the dock with all their booty, so brazen with their loads in broad daylight! And how they fill out their snuff with the dust of gold! I think those pirates who get hanged are done for the greater good of the thieving that is done to us, such as the
removing butter from the dairyman’s cart.
    That butter was for Ma. And only once before I went to sea. Or did not.
    You’ve got the pirate blood in you, you just need the place to shed it. In a few strikes of the clock, Luggams and Shanks will put their feet upon the deck again, time enough for us to gather provisions, to buy that new blade you admired yesterday with what little coin we have left.
    These two do sail a big ship, with double masts. I don’t wonder at your temptation.
    Pirates are just sea folk who work for themselves. I think you lack the strength for the pirate’s life.
    I can lift a bull and anchor. I have the strength—on land.
    Beat me in the balls for a fortnight if pirates don’t do well with the ladies, that much I do know. They don’t cast out nets or drag long line, women come running to them. Not like that last woman you had.
    The pirates’ women invite their friends around to your execution, set a table with cakes and ale under the gallows, and bring your only child to it.
    Ah, but the mermaids don’t fear the pirates, and they’re thick as shrimp hereabouts.
    A mermaid is just a woman not grown, one who snatches at men and leaves the offspring to comb out her hair. Not a pretty enough picture for me.
    Shanks and Luggams have repaired to the fo’castle. They won’t be there long, the crew’s hauling sail.
    Go then, you don’t need me.

    Need has nothing to do with it. It is as a courtesy I’m asking you to come along, landlubber though you be, as your brother I’m asking you. Our trust be doubled and our profits too, onboard as pirate brothers.
    We may not be such brothers as you think, if Ma died true.
    We must hunt our true father and start our true lives. Our father will not find us, that’s for certain. Let’s roll the whale’s eye for an answer. Left, you pirate, right, you stay.
    Where did you come into that eye?
    Found it in a drift of sea spindle.
    It could be mine, part of the bone I tried to claim.
    You’ll drive me to the pirate life, with your bone found in every bone.
    Well, I know what’s good for me without throwing the eye. There’s your Luggams now. I’m sure he’ll take you onboard like lice to a bird.
    Mr. Luggams! Here!
    Be off with you. The ocean’s too much a cradle for a man so grown as myself.
    I’m good on the fo’castle, Mr. Luggams. I’ve had years of it.

8
    Indian Ocean
    You don’t know the glory of being hung on a hook and dragged by your lip when you must leap from the water just to ease off the pain. Pull it out!
    It will leave a gash if I pull it straight. I keep seaweed at the bottom that defies the wounds of the flesh. How else does a fish last with a grimace of hooks?
    You departed so strangely, the winter upon us, and Peters fast approaching.
    It had to be.
    I have the whale’s eye still. Will that help?
    Don’t show it, there be sailors about even in the dark of this clouded night and the ship’s heaving to the gunwhales. It might roll away.
    I’m sorry to catch you.
    I’m glad to be caught. When I saw it was your hook, I rejoiced. Just wrench out the barb. I will brace myself against you and the rail, tight.
    There.
    That’s better. I have been hauled up by the mouth four times looking for you and your brother, each time promising this and that until they tossed me over.
    This fishy part is new and shocking.

    Not so new. The skirts all women wear to confound men hid it. The