Like being lost at the bottom of the ocean, submerged in the deep dark.
PETER PAN : With the sea creatures!
ALICE IN WONDERLAND : Are you happy now?
ALICE : The plate eased into the solution of acid and sulphateâ¦back and forth, back and forth⦠What could be more thrilling than to see the negative gradually take shape, yourself gradually take shape?
ALICE IN WONDERLAND : There you are⦠But in reverse, topsy-turvy, like everything in Wonderland. You and not you.
ALICE : Even now, all these years later, the odor of certain chemicals brings me back there, to that room, on that day⦠This was the second and final time we were alone.
CARROLL : Look, Iâm starting to see youâ¦
ALICE : Canât my sisters watch?
CARROLL : The doorâs shut now. Weâd ruin everything⦠Thereâs your face emergingâ¦
ALICE : I donât know that I like my expression. I seem a bit dour.
CARROLL : You seem precisely you, precisely now. Itâs this moment, captured forever, never changing.
ALICE : Only itâs that moment back there and Iâve already changed.
Beat .
CARROLL continues to develop the picture .
CARROLL : Do you think youâll change much as you get older?
ALICE : I should hope so. Who wants to remain the same forever?
CARROLL : Do you think youâll remember me?
ALICE : I donât know.
CARROLL : Ah.
ALICE : Iâm bound to meet lots of people in my life, and some very memorable. I should think you would be one of the most memorable, but I canât say for certain.
CARROLL : Itâs a fleeting time, this we have⦠When youâre like you are now.
ALICE : You mean when Iâm eleven?
CARROLL : P-p-p-partly that.
ALICE : Is that why you take so many photographs? So you wonât forget?
CARROLL : Iâll never forget. But you will. Youâll move on to your adulthood of ways and means, of fancy dress balls and that bluff good fellow youâre going to marry, all the things that will make up the sum of your life. And a happy life it will be I know⦠But no reason to be sad for me. For I have this, donât I?
ALICE : But thatâs not me⦠I know thatâs not really me.
Beat .
He continues to work on the picture for a moment .
CARROLL : Youâre coming along nicely⦠You see how you are? ⦠Never growing older, never growing wiser⦠Like in my heart.
ALICE : (To PETER .) I didnât understand fully.
PETER : But you understood enough.
CARROLL : I have a wish for my child-friends. Do you know what it is?
ALICE : That we always stay like we are. But I donât understand why.
He stops .
He considers whether to go on .
CARROLL : In the place called Adulthood, thereâs precious few golden afternoons. Theyâve gone away to make way for other things like business and housekeeping and wanting everyone to be the same, just like you, all the lives lived in neat hedgerows, all excess banished, all joyous peculiarities excised. Itâs grim and shabby. There are no Mad Hatters and there are no Cheshire Cats, for they canât endure the suffering of the place.
ALICE : Please stopâ¦
CARROLL : Thatâs the p-p-p-place called Adulthood⦠Iâm there now. Youâll be there soon enough. And youâll never leave⦠But here and now, in this room, and on this glass plate, and in the story Iâm writing, youâll never be thereâ¦And youâll never be hurt. And youâll never be heart-sick. And youâll never be alone⦠You will be beloved.
ALICE is near tears .
ALICE : I have to go.
CARROLL : Itâll ruin the picture.
ALICE : May I go?
Beat .
CARROLL : Go, Alice.
She quickly leaves the darkroom, moves away from CARROLL , trying to recover her equilibrium .
PETER PAN : (Disappointed.) That was an awful story!
ALICE IN WONDERLAND : Shhh.
ALICE looks at CARROLL .
ALICE : Poor wounded soul. Everlastingly tormenting himself about a sin that