Paranoiac Read Online Free PDF Page A

definitely wasn’t
the last. Four years after that awful night, I ran away from
everything, went to college and started my life anew. The trauma
I’d been through fueled my writing, fueled my alcoholism and…
everything else.
    Suddenly I
remembered where I was. I needed to find out what happened in this
damn house so I could close this journal for good and distance
myself from these awful memories. The whirlwind continued. I grew
dizzier and dizzier, lost and I could hear a faint laughter from a
distance. HIS laughter, my pallid brother and his velvet malicious
cackling. The memories of my past collided and fused with his
laughter, a soundtrack to my madness.
    It felt like
all of the time I’ve spent on this earth was happening all at once.
I lost hold of my footing, up was down and down was up. There were
faces in the ghastly cyclone just like in my dreams. I could see
contorted, screaming and wailing faces mixed into the whirlwind. A
miasmic darkness shrank around me with the howling of that evil
creature still violating my senses. The tendrils of the shadows
enclosed around me, constricted my movement and began choking
me.
    Soon the
screaming and maniacal laughter began to fade. I floated in
darkness. It felt as if an eternity was passing by. Gasping for air
as each moment passed, my mind was panic stricken with fear and
anger.
    All of a
sudden I felt hot breath on my ear. He just sat there, breathing
while I couldn't, stuck in this darkness. I tried to struggle but
felt paralyzed. My entire body tingled with numbness and yet his
breathing continued. I sat, entangled in the shadows, begging the
fiend to go away. Finally he spoke softly and intimately into my
ear, “Don’t worry Isaac, it will all be over soon.” He laughed,
amused at my confusion while I grasped for air.
    I feared for
my life as I suffocated on the thick, tangible blackness. I
imagined that every time I opened my mouth the darkness forced its
way into my throat and down into my lungs. My eyes rolled into the
back of my head, my thoughts grew muddled and I slipped into
unconsciousness.
    This time I dreamt dreams of the past.

Journal Entry Six
    My eyelids
felt heavy, my joints ached with a dull annoying pain and my
thoughts were in a haze. I felt numb, my emotions strung out from
those dreadful memories. I lazily blinked the sleep from my eyes,
trying to make sense of the blur that was my surroundings. My
vision was disoriented and foggy as I attempted to feel my way down
what seemed to be a narrow passageway. Then, abruptly, my feet
collapsed beneath me. I clumsily fell down an endless slope of
stairs. Reflexively I jutted out my hands to catch my balance and
slammed into a heavy wooden door.
    The palms of
my hands jolted with pain as I fell backwards, landing on my ass.
“Son of a bitch!” I yelled angrily, rubbing my hands together,
trying to ease their pain. “How did I get here?” The last thing I
remembered before passing out was searching the kitchen. That and
there were those memories I’d rather have kept suppressed and
buried in the dark. It was alarming how often this was happening to
me. First waking up from that shitty nightmare to find myself
trapped in this house, also with no memories of how I got here.
Then my mothers' room, all of those mirrors, the torn curtains and
the broken glass that shredded my hands. I’m sick and tired of
these gaps in my recollection and these Lethean dreams that haunted
me to the core of my soul. I write and write in this notebook
trying to solve all of these mysteries. I pour my sweat and blood
all over these pages yet all I have to show for it is anger,
depression and, above all else, endless questions. For every
question I answer another takes its place. This cursed house, my
cursed life is the Lernaean Hydra of misery and confusion. The only
thing that drives me now is to cut down each and every mystery
until truth prevails.
    On top of all
of this I have a shadow of sorts playing games with me. It