Out of Order Read Online Free PDF

it from them.
    “Nothing. What can he do? He can’t prove I took it, and what’s he going to do? Report it to the police? ‘My sister stole my fuckin’ coke, man.’ I didn’t even take all of it, just a little taste.”
    “But… why ?” I asked, pushing her beautiful blonde hair out of her face. She was rosy-cheeked and bright eyed, almost unnaturally so, but it looked good on her.
    “I just wanted to know what it felt like. Just once, you know? I wanted to know what it felt like, don’t you want to know what it feels like?”
    She rolled her head up into the curve of my neck and pawed at my hair like a baffled kitten. Her breath was hot against my throat, and moist. My heart fluttered in my chest and my cheeks flushed a little darker. I licked my lips.
    “Well,” I said, trying to meet Kate’s eyes in the mirror. She was staring at herself almost vacantly. “Maybe a little. Just once?”
    Kate grinned lazily and held up her hand again. The little dab of white powder on the knuckle of her bent thumb was stark against her tanned skin, sprayed on just the month before during a mother-daughter spa trip.
    “So I just…?”
    Kate nodded against my neck. “Just like the movies,” she said as I leaned down, plugging one nostril with my thumb and met her hand with my nose. I inhaled sharply, then snorted it back. It burned a little, but pleasantly. I rubbed my nose and then sneezed. “Is it supposed to happen right away, or what?”
    “Give it a minute.”
    We sat down on the bathroom floor. I felt kind of like an idiot, sitting there wringing my hands. We started talking about boys—well, Kate did, loudly and insistently.
    “Josh Dunn is cute,” she said, her voice rapid and high-pitched. “But I totally wouldn’t do him. Would you do Josh Dunn? I wouldn’t. He’s too nice , you know? He probably wouldn’t be good in the sack.”
    “Sure,” I said, feeling light-headed. Kate was talking really fast, and I was hanging on her every word. “But he’d want to do you. You’re so hot.”
    “I am totally hot, aren’t I?” Kate laughed, tugging me farther under her arm. My face got shoved into the junction of her armpit and breast; it was soft and warm and smelled vaguely of deodorant.
    “You are totally hot. Way hotter than Josh Dunn. I’d rather do you than Josh Dunn.”
    Kate nodded enthusiastically. “I’d rather do you than Josh Dunn too. He’s too cute , you know? Soft and nice-boy. He wouldn’t know how to give it hard and fast. I bet Luke Turnbull gives it hard and fast. Have you seen him run? He’s practically an Olympian.”
    “He does hurdles so well, Luke Turnbull,” I agreed, remembering the track meet. I do high jump, which tends to surprise people because I’m compact. But I’m not bad. I’m not an Olympian, but I’m not bad . “I’m good at high jump. I bet I could jump really high right now, get it? Because we’re high, right?”
    Kate burst out laughing, and I felt elated. This was the best thing I’d ever done. Why had I been worried? I twisted my hands in Kate’s skirt; it was so soft, it felt like every nerve in my body had been set on fire, every feeling was so vivid.
    “Is everything supposed to feel this—fast?” I asked, wide-eyed. I focused on the clock above the towel rack, squinting at it. Tick, tick, tick . Time was going so fast, but I felt like I was vibrating outside of it, free-floating through time, anchored only by my hands in Kate’s skirt and her fingers carding through my hair.
    “Fast?” she asked vaguely, still petting me. Her hands in my hair was the best feeling in the whole world. She was quiet a moment, as if she had lost her train of thought. “If I were to do Josh Dunn, I bet it’d be over fast!”
    We laughed at Josh Dunn’s supposed lack of stamina, gossiped about the boys at our school, sang a couple of pop songs loudly and off-key. No one was home. My parents were at a baby shower or a bridal shower or a Tupperware party or