On Love's Own Terms Read Online Free PDF

as a child and challenged her as a woman.
    Had Luke really grieved for their baby? Or had he been relieved to be released from the responsibilities of a shotgun marriage? Painful seconds ticked away as Bonnie sobbed silently. She didn’t know the answer because they hadn’t discussed it when she came home from the hospital.
    She had gone through labor and delivered a baby she’d never held in her arms. For weeks afterwards she had cried, aching with a despondent sense of loss and guilt. If Luke had suffered, as he’d claimed this afternoon and again this evening, he hadn’t shared his feelings with her. In the end, they’d been nothing more than intimate strangers.
    So why did she still want him? Obviously they had a sexual chemistry that wouldn’t quit. But was their desire rooted in nostalgia, or was it a tender new offshoot that would flourish later if nurtured now? Bonnie’s sigh echoed her bewilderment. If she was even remotely capable of separating the emotional from the physical, she’d be holding Luke tonight instead of hugging her knees.
    What exactly did he expect of her? Was he suggesting that she close shop and come home? Impossible! Her business was booked solid through June with graduations, weddings and museum openings. In addition, an established publishing house whose parties she catered had asked her to write a cookbook for their American food series.
    Regardless of her personal feelings, she had to return to New York and fulfill her professional obligations. Surely when she explained the situation, Luke would understand. A poignant smile curved her lips. One thing was certain: If practice made perfect, her leaving ought to prove flawless this time.
    Doubts darted through her mind. Luke said he still cared. But for how long? Forever? Or just until she made some major misstep? He said he felt incomplete without her. In truth, hadn’t she been living only half a life without him?
    Bonnie’s throat felt cottony with fear, and tears blurred her vision. She had lots of questions, but so few answers. Maybe she and Luke would find a solution. She shivered. Maybe they wouldn’t.
    The first silky pink strands of dawn threaded the sky before Bonnie surrendered to her exhaustion again. But she didn’t sleep well. Dreams of Luke wouldn’t leave her alone.
     

Chapter 3
     
    Bonnie felt like a genuine slugabed when Darlene shook her awake later that morning. Since she could hardly confess to her marriage-minded sister that she was exhausted because she’d spent half the night thinking about her own divorce, she improvised a hasty excuse about jet lag catching up with her and hoped for the best
    “That’s odd, considering you didn’t even change time zones.” Darlene wandered toward the dressing table where she began poking around in Bonnie’s cosmetics case. “Maybe the real reason you’re so tired is because you’re breathing fresh air instead of industrial pollution. I’ve heard that the mountains have the same effect on people.”
    “Mmm,” Bonnie mumbled, “my lungs collapsed for joy.”
    Darlene laughed. Judging from the familiar fragrance, she was also spray-testing Bonnie’s favorite perfume. “By the way, your friend Sueanne phoned a little while ago. She said she’d love to get together with you one day this week if you have the time.”
    Bonnie nodded and made a mental note to return the call later today. All through school, she and Sueanne had been closer than two peas in a pod—swapping clothes and sharing secrets, supporting each other through head colds and heartaches. Sadly enough, she had never captured that same quality of companionship with another woman. Not even with her sister.
    When Darlene finished with the contents of the cosmetics case, she sat on the foot of the bed and conducted a one-woman gabfest. That Bonnie neither responded nor opened her eyes didn’t seem to bother her in the least. She talked enough for the both of them.
    Bonnie finally decided to rise but