On His Turf Read Online Free PDF

load of laundry by now. I walk to the living room where I find Matty still passed out. His gelled hair is now rumpled and without his glasses on he looks so sweet and vulnerable splayed out on the sofa. I gently shake him awake and he stretches like a cat before pulling me in for a morning hug. I rest my head against his chest and his kisses the top of my head. “I’m starving,” he says as his stomach rumbles.
    “El Guapos?” I suggest and he immediately starts moving. We go there almost every weekend for brunch because they have the best huevos rancheros in town.
    I slip off his lap and head to my room to pack a gym bag while he gets ready in the bathroom. I’m still surprised that I slept as long as I did considering we got home before midnight. I wonder if I just needed to recover from the sensory overload of having had Shane Mitchell’s tongue down my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut and silently scold myself for thinking about it. Whatever it was it is over and done with now.
    ***
    Half an hour later we are sitting at our favorite back booth with two strong coffees and eggs on the way. Matty slides his sunglasses off his nose and places them on the edge of the table before speaking.
    “So what happened last night? Where did you disappear to? I was looking all over for you.”
    “Shane dragged me to his bedroom,” I say and he runs a hand through his messy hair before responding.
    “Yeah, I kind of overheard Shane’s buddies talking about him disappearing with some hot chick but I was hoping it wasn’t you,” he says sheepishly.
    “It wasn’t like that! You know me better than that. He was mad about the fake boyfriend thing and he called me out on it,” I say defensively.
    “And?”
    “And…he kissed me. And I told him it wasn’t happening then I left and ran into you.”
    “Good,” Matty says, letting out a relieved sigh.
    “Good?” I say, confused. “You’re the one who told me he was sex in cleats and I shouldn’t fight it.”
    “That was before I saw the way he was looking at you. To be honest it freaked me out a little bit, Carm.”
    “How so?” I press.
    “I don’t know…it was just really intense. I think he’s too much for you, honey. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
    “Well I said it’s not happening so just drop it,” I snap, feeling a little wounded that Matty doesn’t think I can handle myself. And even though I know it shouldn’t his comment rubs me the wrong way. Too much how? Too good looking? Too successful? Too out of my league?
    “I see those wheels turning Carmelina Dahl and you need to stop that shit right now. You know how I feel about you and in my mind no one is good enough for you. By too much I only mean that getting involved with him could lead to too much drama and too much heartache and God knows we’ve both had enough of that for a lifetime,” he explains in a soft voice and I answer with a shaky smile thinking that it’s eerie how well he knows me.
    Our food arrives and he immediately digs in but I leave my plate untouched as I consider his words. We have had enough heartache for a lifetime - him even more so than me. At least my mother just waged the battle on me with emotional terrorism; when his lowlife parents were tweaking they’d kick the living crap out of him. I always wonder if there’s more I could’ve done to protect him like he protected me but he never let me and now we are both damaged goods. When I went off to college Matty went off the deep end: partying hard, experimenting with drugs and getting in all kinds of trouble. It took us a while to get back to where we are now and the last thing I want is to be the one to stir up drama and make us both relive the past.
    “Stop thinking and eat Carm before I eat yours for you,” he chides and I know he’s only half-kidding. For a lean guy he can really pack away the food; probably an instinctual response to having so little of it around when we were kids.
    “He called you a skinny