On Beauty Read Online Free PDF Page B

ain’t gonna marry anybody. He can’t find his dick with two hands.’
    Howard, though duty bound to disapprove of this, did not completely disagree with the diagnosis. Jerome’s lengthy virginity (which Howard now presumed had come to an end) represented, in Howard’s opinion, an ambivalent relationship to the earth and its inhabitants, which Howard had trouble either celebrating or understanding. Jerome was not quite of the body somehow, and this had always unnerved his father. If nothing else, the mess in Londonsurely ended the faint whiff of moral superiority that had so far clung to Jerome through his teens.
    â€˜So: someone’s about to make a personal mistake,’ said Howard, an attempt to widen the conversation. ‘A terrible one – and you just let it “go by”?’
    Levi considered this proposition for a moment. ‘Well . . . even if he does get married I don’t even get why marrying’s so like the bad thing all of a sudden . . . At least he got some chance of gettin’ some ass if he’s actually married . . .’ Levi released a deep, vigorous laugh that in turn flexed that extraordinary stomach, creasing it like a shirt rather than real flesh. ‘You know he ain’t got no chance in hell right now.’
    â€˜Levi, that’s . . .’ began Howard, but up floated a mental picture of Jerome, the uneven afro and soft, vulnerable face, the women’s hips and the jeans always slightly too high in the waist, the tiny gold cross that hung at his throat – the innocence, basically.
    â€˜What? I say somethin’ that ain’t true? You know it’s true, man – you smiling yourself!’
    â€˜Not marriage per se ,’ said Howard crossly. ‘It’s more complicated. The girl’s father is . . . not what we need in this family, put it that way.’
    â€˜Yeah, well . . .’ said Levi, turning over his father’s tie so the front was at the front. ‘I don’t see what that’s got to do with shit.’
    â€˜We just don’t want Jerome to make a pig’s ear of –’
    â€˜ We? ’ said Levi, with an expertly raised eyebrow – genetically speaking a direct gift from his mother.
    â€˜Look – do you need some money or something?’ asked Howard. He dug into his pocket and retrieved two crushed twenty-dollar bills, screwed up like balls of tissue. After all these years he was still unable to take the dirty green feel of American money very seriously. He stuffed them in Levi’s own low-slung jeans pocket.
    â€˜Â â€™Preciate that, Paw,’ drawled Levi, in imitation of his mother’s Southern roots.
    â€˜I don’t know what kind of hourly wage they pay you at that place . . .’ grumbled Howard.
    Levi sighed woefully. ‘It’s flimsy, man . . . Real flimsy.’
    â€˜If you’d only let me go down there, speak to someone and –’
    â€˜No!’
    Howard assumed his son was embarrassed by him. Shame seemed to be the male inheritance of the Belsey line. How excruciating Howard had found his own father at the same age! He had wished for someone other than a butcher, for someone who used his brain at work rather than knives and scales – someone more like the man Howard was today. But you shift and the children shift also. Would Levi prefer a butcher?
    â€˜I mean,’ said Levi, artlessly modifying his first reaction, ‘I can handle it myself, don’t worry about it.’
    â€˜I see. Did Mother leave any message or –?’
    â€˜Message? I ain’t even seen her. I got no idea where she is – she left early .’
    â€˜Right. What about you? Message for your brother maybe?’
    â€˜Yeah . . . Tell him,’ said Levi smiling, turning from Howard and holding on to the banister either side of himself, lifting his