Off to Be the Wizard Read Online Free PDF Page B

a kitten, and his old computer was running a utility to completely erase the hard drive. He turned his attention to his entertainment center.
    Martin looked at the large TV cabinet he had purchased, and the smallish TV he had owned for years. An hour and a half later he was pulling into his parking space with the new TV he’d bought at the second closest electronics store (going back to the same one would have looked suspicious). He was so excited that he got careless removing the TV’s box from the rear hatch, and ripped the headliner of his car. Damn , he thought, I wonder how much that’ll cost to fix .
    Buying a new car took longer than buying a new TV. He had saved some time by not making any attempt to negotiate. He’d simply excused himself to use the restroom and adjusted his bank account so he had the down payment. The dealership’s sales team seemed stunned when he returned from the restroom and asked if they could hurry this up.
    He was proud that he had the forethought to get a payment plan. He could have paid cash, but that would look suspicious. This way, he was building a credit rating, which would make him look more normal on paper, and in the end it was all money he was creating out of nothing anyway. Who cared if the interest rate caused him to spend more of it?
    Also, he could have gone nuts and bought a Ferrari or something, but he hadn’t. He just got another bright red hatchback. The sport model. It had a stripe, got to seventy-five miles per hour an eighth of a second faster, and the tires wore out faster while only costing twice as much to replace. 
    He drove home with a dopey grin on his face. He threw his jacket in a heap in the passenger seat and passed the time on his drive home playing with the car stereo at every red light.
    Martin Banks felt pretty smart, right up until he pulled up to his parking space and saw two men in dark suits. Martin was startled, but reminded himself he had done nothing illegal (as far as he knew) and that there was no reason that these two men would be there for him. For all he knew, they wanted to tell him about God. He got out of the car and made eye contact with one of the men (it was pretty much unavoidable). The man smiled.
    “Hello, Mr. Banks. Nice car.”
    Martin’s heart clenched like a fist. His mouth went dry. He looked at the men as if through a long tunnel.
    “Do you want to talk to me about God?” Martin asked.
    “Not unless he paid for the car,” the man answered.

Chapter 6.

    They took my phone, Martin thought. It never occurred to me that if I got into trouble they would take my phone.
    Martin sat alone in an interrogation room that looked like it could have been made by the set designer from a bad TV show. The only thing that saved it from being a total cliché was that if this were a set, the chairs would look cooler. They’d be stainless steel or something. Instead he sat on a beat-up wooden chair that was probably older than he was. He was still wearing his weekend uniform: baggy cargo pants, faded polo shirt, and sneakers, although they had confiscated his belt and his shoelaces. Again, cliché.
    The two men had introduced themselves as Special Agents Miller and Murphy, told Martin he was under arrest, cuffed him, and stuck him in their unmarked car, which Martin didn’t mention was parked illegally. The ride to the station was horrible. Martin figured being under arrest and riding to the police station would always be horrible, but in his case it was worse than usual. He knew he could easily escape. All he had to do was get his phone out of his pocket, open the app, hit the button and he’d be at home. He’d be handcuffed, but still, one problem at a time. He considered fleeing for a moment, but chose against it. Martin knew what he had done, and he knew it would be very difficult to prove, or even explain without sounding crazy. If, however, he disappeared from the back seat of a police car, that would be easy to explain.
    We