Obsession (9780061887079) Read Online Free PDF Page B

charming,” you enthused, bidding me go into our garden, gather morning glories, and upon return observe you playfully weave them into the crown. Anticipating your wishes, Rowena saturated a sponge with Eau Jasmine—handed it to you as I watched Dominique float in the scented waterof the bath you had prepared as you caressed her breasts until her nipples rose into bud, worthy to be kissed. Oh Talbot, I hate you so.
    I’ve never questioned The Rules. There was never any confusion. Maja had been fully briefed and so was I. You told Maja that you had come to a point where your “erotica had become chaotic, interfering with work and home,” and passion for beauty inspired you to come up with a solution—Akeru—and so began your search for a Maîtresse worthy to reign. I will not let you take this away from me. I am your chosen one to be its Queen. I do, and have done everything to please you, followed The Rules to the letter. In the years ahead you may desire me less. This I am ready to face. And if that does happen, you will find me, as I am now, an eager collaborator whose only intent is to satisfy your most extreme wishes and fulfill your desires. Until I ran away from the orphanage—well, surelyit is not difficult to figure out why control is important to me. I never had it—and now I do. It’s my life, my happiness—it keeps me sane, balanced, gives me strength to explore my aptitude to perform as you would expect, to maintain Akeru a kingdom of beauty and pleasure unto itself for your delight in which I joyously share.
    Maja knew full well what you were seeking and how to find it for you, the permanent Maîtresse, to stabilize your wandering attention span and restless spirit, a steward to be in full charge managing the erotica of your life. In return you would build Maîtresse a house (which you did—the paradise Akeru) to be in her name, putting money in trust for her independence and lifelong security. What woman who never had a home, loves sensuality and beauty, and cannot have children, wouldn’t die to be blessed with this opportunity. I was bowled over and honored that you chose me. From the time I was bornI was in orphanages; never able to make a satisfying relationship with my actual parents, I stopped looking for this with real people—used my imagination to create substitutes for them in the form of idealized images. Who better than Maja to project onto her a fantasy image of nurturing Mother—and who more qualified than you, although you are far too young (age has nothing to do with it!), to project onto you the authority image of Father. Logically I know neither one of you will ever come up to what I’m seeking and that no matter where I look I’ll always be disappointed. The only reality that is not a fantasy is Akeru and that belongs to me. And no matter how I hate you (sometimes), I still crave the power you have to turn my body into an instrument of joy as it pleasures your wildest fantasies. In love still with the image I’ve derived from my own inner world even though I know it bears little relation to the reality of you who receives it. I must havebeen mad, deluded, in thinking that you were the one person, the answer to life and all my emotional needs, but no matter: now aware of my errors, I’m determined still to continue following The Rules to the letter as Queen of Akeru, with approval of who enters our paradise. Be fair. Never again torment me with the sudden appearance of a Dominique, or the other, whose name I have mercifully forgotten. If bringing them to Akeru without consulting me was a test, you cannot fault me, for I passed it well. And remember it was you bid them leave, finally—not I. But let it be the last time you test me so cruelly. Never will you find one more capable of following and keeping The Rules than I—none more worthy to be Queen of Akeru.
    I am so angry now I can say no