Not That Kind of Girl Read Online Free PDF

about Roxie.”
    “Oh, yeah,” Rick said. “Josie told me the guy was bragging to his friends about how he liked his women young and stupid, and that Roxanne would have been the ideal girlfriend if she only knew how to give a blow job.”
    Eli was speechless.
    “But this is where it gets good,” Teeny said. “Roxanne reaches down and grabs the man’s lit cigar and then grinds it into his hair.”
    “No, no, no,” Rick corrected his friend. “The guy’s going bald. She put out the cigar on his bare head, man. Josie said you could smell burning skin and everything.”
    Eli got the rocker moving back and forth, stalling for time while he tried to figure out how to respond. One quick glance at Teeny and Rick confirmed that they expected some kind of reaction from him. The truth was, his heart ached for Roxie Bloom. The old dude sounded like a real pig. But to carry around all that hurt and not deal with it, to wrap yourself up in it, define yourself by it—and even rely on it to pay your bills? That was a recipe for disaster. Roxanne needed to make some changes. And soon.
    “And now the bald mutha is threatening to sue her for talking about him on her Web site,” Teeny said.
    Eli shook his head real slow. No wonder Roxanne exploded into sobs when he’d told her she was safe with him. First her father, then the bad boys, then the father-figure lover who’d led her to believe she’d be getting a proposal, not a knife in the back.
    Telling Roxanne Bloom she’d be safe with him probably sounded like something right out of the Rat Bastard Playbook. She had no way of knowing that Eli always meant what he said and said what he meant.
    Rick cleared his throat. “So, Eli, we’re basically recommending that if you’re interested in Roxie, you should wear riot gear.”
    “Hazmat shit if you got it,” Teeny said.
    Eli stopped rocking, and looked to both men, his mind racing with the information he’d just received. He felt a smile spread across his face.
    “Contents under pressure,” Eli whispered.
    Teeny and Rick cocked their heads in unison, confused.
    That was it, Eli knew. Roxanne Bloom had shoved and pushed and crammed the hurt way down inside herself, then secured it with a big old lid of anger. Somehow, Eli had pried open that lid out there at the paddock, and look what happened! Within seconds she was sobbing, kissing him, wiggling up against him like she was trying to get inside his clothes with him. She was a volcano, ready to blow.
    “We’re not following you,” Teeny said.
    Eli nodded, giving himself a moment to settle. “I was just thinking that Roxanne Bloom should come with a warning label. You know, ‘Contents Under Pressure; Do Not Use Near Heat, Sparks, or Open Flame.’ ”
    Even as the three men enjoyed a good belly laugh, Eli realized that there was nothing funny about his observation. He’d just articulated his problem, and his problem was that he was on fire for Roxie Bloom.
    And if he didn’t keep his distance, there was sure to be an explosion.

Chapter 3
    Pulling into the entrance of the Komfy K-9 Day Spa, Roxanne dreaded what was to come. She’d been through this enough times, at enough establishments, that she had a standard timeline mapped out in her head. Here’s how it usually went: Lilith gets dropped off; Lilith growls and barks at male kennel workers and male dogs; the kennel calls Roxie to complain; Lilith gets so worked up she froths out of the sides of her muzzle; other customers demand to see the dog’s vaccination record on file and threaten to never use the establishment again if that animal is there; Roxanne apologizes over the phone; Roxanne arrives to pick up Lilith; Roxanne begs the kennel management to give her another chance; Roxanne has to pay extra.
    All this could be avoided, of course, if someone were willing to check on Lilith while Roxanne was out of the house for long periods. Unfortunately, she’d been blacklisted among Bay Area pet sitters. And her