Norway to Hide Read Online Free PDF Page B

vote says, ‘Who cares what it looks like? It’s the dumbest-looking thing I’ve ever seen.’” Osmond repocketed his notepad. “That’d be Bernice.”
    “How do you know it’s me?” Bernice objected. “How do you know it wasn’t George? Or Marion?”
    “I recognized your handwriting.”
    “Can I have your attention?” I asked, standingup so everyone could see me. “I don’t think any of us expected it to be this hot, so be sure to pick up extra bottles of water and stay hydrated. After lunch, you might like to take a boat tour of the harbor. That would cool you off. Or you could sit under a shady tree and listen to a concert in Esplanade park.” I pointed west. “Just beyond the tram tracks. Or you could shop in the stores along the boulevard, which might be air-conditioned. I’ve marked on your maps where the hotel is, so you shouldn’t have any problem finding it. Any questions?”
    Alice Tjarks raised her hand. “Is a waitress going to come to the table, or is this self-serve?”
    “Self-serve all the way,” I said. “Wander around the food stalls, grab yourself some reindeer sausage or bear pâté, and bring it back here to eat.”
    Twelve sets of eyes regarded me uncomfortably.
    “What?” I teased. “Not tempted by the bear pâté? How about grilled liver with mashed potatoes and bacon? I hear that’s a Finnish specialty: reindeer liver, elk liver. Finns love red meat.”
    Twelve sets of feet remained eerily still, which prompted a horrible thought. “You haven’t gone vegetarian on me, have you? You don’t want to do that. Not in Finland. You’ll be heading down the path to starvation.”
    “If we leave, someone might take our tables,” Dick Teig finally spoke up.
    Grunts of assent. Heads bobbing.
    “C’mon, guys, this isn’t a problem,” I cried. “Six of you can save chairs while the other six get their food,hen you can switch. You do it every week for the lunch buffet at the casino.”
    More uncomfortable looks. Discreet scratching. No stampeding.
    “What!”
    “That’ll give the six people who get their food first an unfair advantage,” complained Dick Stolee.
    “They can scarf down their meals and be out of here before any of us,” said Lucille Rassmuson. “It’s not fair to give some such a big head start.”
    “Smells like favoritism to me,” said Grace Stolee.
    I stared at them in exasperation. “You can’t promise to wait for each other?”
    “We could all promise,” Helen Teig fussed, “but a lot of good it would do.” She arched a crookedly drawn eyebrow. “If you know what I mean.”
    All eyes riveted on Bernice.
    Bernice blew everyone off with a flick of her hand. “If you keep ragging on me like this, I’m going to report you to Mr. Erickson and have you all banned from the next trip. I can do it, too. Erickson and I have gotten pret-ty chummy since his wife left him. He’s like putty in my hands, so you better be nice to me.” She flashed a smug smile. “Bernice and the bank president. Sounds like a movie starring Sandra Dee, doesn’t it?”
    “That’s really low of you to take advantage of a man with cataracts,” Dick Teig scolded.
    “If you’re putting out for him, I hope you’re taking precautions,” advised Margi. “Olle Erickson certainly doesn’t want to father any unplanned children at his age.”
    Alice raised her hand. “Excuse me, Emily, but how are we going to decide who gets their food first?”
    “Secret ballot,” said Osmond. “We always decide things by secret ballot.”
    “How is it secret if you tell everyone how we voted?” Bernice sniped. “We need a show of hands. How many of you good Christian people are willing to remain in this heavenly shade and save seats while the rest of us risk heat exhaustion and potential death to find sausages made out of Donder and Blitzen?”
    No one moved except George Farkas, Nana’s one-legged boyfriend, who inched his hand shyly into the air.
    Nana grabbed his sleeve and