No Sleep till Wonderland Read Online Free PDF Page A

So I say, “You have that affect on people. Sorry, someone had to tell you.”
    “All right, all right, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ve got a couple of things for you, and then I’ll go so you can continue your recovery in relative peace. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look like shit.” Gus laughs, pulls a small plastic bag out of his jeans pocket, and throws it on the desk: twenty or so green pills.
    “My headache isn’t that bad.”
    “Last night we talked about your trials with prescription drugs, Desoxyn especially, and how they never really improved your symptoms.” Gus pauses long enough to read the glittering neon sign that is my face. “You don’t remember, do you? Wow, we talked all about the side effects: the insomnia, headaches, tremors, how it made you feel depressed. Awake but heavy in the head, was what you said.”
    “Sounds like something I’d say, but I don’t remember rhyming.”
    “We were at the Playwright down on East Broadway. Oh, and you complained about raging diarrhea too.”
    “Wasn’t I sparkling company?”
    “You were a delight, as always, and it helped clear out our tidy corner of the bar. We also talked about trying amphetamines. They’d probably only handle the fatigue symptoms, but it’s better than nothing, and they wouldn’t have the rest of the neurological effects the Desoxyn had.”
    “I don’t suppose you got a prescription for these.”
    Gus sighs, his first sign of annoyance. “It’s not a big deal, Mark. It’s just a bag of greenies. Easy to get. Athletes and cops use them all the time.”
    I lift the bag. “I’m not an athlete or a cop, or even a pretend cop.”
    “Just trying to help. I know you don’t remember, but we talked about this.”
    “Where did you get these? Do you take these yourself? I’m a semiconscious slug over here, and you’re…you’re Dr. Pepper.”
    “Dr. Pepper?”
    I wave my hands, frustrated at the words. Maybe I can swat the pesky ones away. “Christ, you know what I’m saying. I mean, Mr. Pep. Bushy eyed and bright tailed, and all that bullshit.” My turn to hit my desk. It’s taking a beating.
    Gus shows me his pair of slow-down hands. “Hey, hey, take it easy, Mark. If in the light of this bright new dawn you’re not comfortable taking them, no big deal. You can throw them away. I won’t be insulted, and they’re not expensive.”
    Gus doesn’t answer my questions. I don’t know if I should push him on it. He doesn’t sound nervous, just very matter-of-fact. He could be talking about a terrible sweater he got for my birthday and giving me permission to take it back.
    I say, “I’ll think about it. I can’t make any big decisions until I’m a little more than subhuman, which could be a while. I’m a slow evolver, like the Galápagos iguanas or something.” Why am I so nervous around this guy? Not sure why I don’t tell him to go choke on the bag of greenies instead of serving up wishy-washy maybes and the inexplicable—apologies to Darwin—comparison of myself to isolated marine lizards.
    “I’ll take your word for it, iguana-man. But that’s fine. I understand. Like I said, don’t worry yourself over it, one way or the other.”
    We stop talking and nod at each other as if we traversed some grand intellectual impasse. That, or we don’t know what the hell to say to each other.
    “Okay, I’ve got one more thing for you, Mark.” Gus cringes, tucks his head between his shoulders, and says, “A job, if you want it. You’d really be helping me out.”
    “If it’s tracking down some punk amphetamine dealer, I have a lead.”
    “Funny. Do you remember Eddie, the bouncer at the Abbey?”
    “Him I remember.”
    “He’s stalking my friend Ekat. She came by the Abbey a few weeks ago, and he wouldn’t leave her alone despite her clear communication to the contrary. He called her at work the next day, too. She told him to fuck off, and we thought that was that. But Ekat called me this