New Year's Eve Kill Read Online Free PDF Page B

jack-o-lantern with gold teeth. Ethel thought her head on any porch could scare the devil himself. Annka yelled at Pedro, her employee, who usually guarded the fruit, to wipe off the snow that was building up on her trees. Mistake number five-hundred for the big Russian doll. A small frown came on Annka’s face because the snow-free trees now looked even wimpier.
    Across the street, Christmas tree salesman, Ham, was smiling in their direction and even waved, for which they returned, but their feet stayed firm in the dusty white snow. Ham made a show of popping a tree up and down on the ground to shake the loose needles and show off, but, unfortunately for him, it shook off most of the branches with it. Ham quickly hid them as if they didn’t see the whole thing. Both Ham and Annka exchanged dirty looks and mutterings under their breath in different languages.
       Dick started plucking little loose pine needles off a standing tree that was so huge Ethel wondered how many Manhattan apartment roofs would be able to hold the green monster. Dick was talking to the tree and she strained to over-hear him as Jim was looking into his phone.
       “Hi Louise, how are you doing today? Yes. You are my big beautiful girl. What’s that? Yes there are a lot of unattractive people out today.”
       Ethel thought he was crazy, but suddenly she changed her mind. Now that the light wasn’t reflecting off the snow so much she could see what a magnificent tree Louise was. Though huge, it had the most interesting color she had ever seen; green with touches of auburn and blue through the branches like highlights.
       “Where should we go first? I’m freezing my balls off!”
       Ethel felt more hesitation than John Travolta’s wife when she gets a new issue of The National Enquirer, and her husband is on the cover.
       Without saying her answer she led him over to Dick. Clouds quickly blocked out the sun as a huge wind almost knocked them over. Ethel choose to ignore the obvious omen.
       “Windy! Happy Holidays.” Ethel regretted saying it.
       “For those working in the freezing cold and dealing with morons on an hourly basis—not so happy. What can I do for you two?” Dick answered, looking them up and down.
       Jim took over as Ethel stewed.
       “We’re looking for a tree, not too small-not too big.”
       “I bet that’s what you tell your boyfriends.”
       Jim felt his fist clench.
       Dick went down the neatly formed lines of trees as Ethel and Jim followed. Ethel had to open and close her eyes because she couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. As Dick went down the line of trees it seemed like they swayed with his body movement and vied for his attention. Was she seeing what she wanted to see or what Dick wanted her to see?
       Ethel and Jim quietly looked at each other in desperation as Dick talked trees.
       “You know, owning a real tree is far better than those awful artificial ones they sell all over. Not only are real trees great to look at with a smell that can’t be manufactured. They are environmentally better for the earth because after they die you can turn them into mulch. Artificial trees are not biodegradable and pollute the earth.
       Ethel silently felt bad for pulling out her Jaclyn Smith, six inch fake tree she had in her apartment every year.
       “This here is Suzy and Willie. Four inches both. They are a little small but would look great in most Manhattan-sized apartments.”
       “We’re getting a tree for the courtyard,” Jim said, looking at pine trees that he towered over.
       “Ah, Clover Court. Well then, you should meet Wilbur. He is about seven inches. Skinny for a fir, but very nice and I think he likes you both.”
       “I had my eye on Louise,” Ethel said without eye-contact.
       “Oh, did you now. And do you think you deserve Louise with that bleached blonde hair and enormous ass of yours?”
          Ethel felt flames rising