Never Again Once More Read Online Free PDF Page B

paused—“for what? I’m not sure.” Jada’s voice was low and flat. Mother warned her about people who answered their own questions. They supposedly had psychological problems. Hell, sometimes it was appropriate to find one’s own solution. Silent. Aloud. What difference did that make? Jada’s condo had enough space for her, but her baby would need a backyard to roam around and play games. She’d focus on finding a new place later.
    “Well, you know there are other alternatives,” Dr. Bates commented.
    Picking up her new beau’s number, Jada ripped the card into tiny pieces, then dropped the pieces inside the burning candle on the tall brass stand. “Yes, there are. But not for me.” A lump formed in Jada’s throat as she swallowed. “I could never kill a living soul, especially not my own child. I guess I’ll just have to fly back to Oakland for my checkups.”
    If she were going to have a baby, her mother was definately going to be involved. That meant Jada would have to temporarily move back to Oakland, but she could stay in L.A. a few more months then return after her baby was born. “I want you to recommend the best OB/GYN who freelances as a counselor. Oh, my gosh. A baby. Whew!” Jada followed with contrived laughter. Black folk didn’t go to counseling, because that certified to their friends and family they were crazy.
    “Are you okay?” Dr. Bates asked.
    “I will be.” One mesmerizing ivy leaf stood out above the rest, accented with more ivory than green. Jada tiptoed to reach the top of the blinds, plucked it off, and set it on her marbled coffee table. Mama had mentioned a pregnant woman should never reach above her head because she could strangle her unborn. No disrespect intended, but Jada believed it was a myth. She’d preserve the leaf, giving it to her child on the first day of school to represent his or her Ivy League college of choice. The sooner she planted the seeds of success, the better.
    “Well, Dr. Carl Watson is the best in the Bay Area. I’ll set everything up for you. You’ll be just fine. I’ll call you next week,” Dr. Bates said. “Remember, Jada—”
    Jada finished the sentence because Dr. Bates ended every conversation the same. “Yeah, I know. Love myself first. Goodbye.”
    Just like that. Jada’s whole life had taken a turn down the road she never envisioned traveling. Single parenthood. Daddy always said, “The things you fear the most shall come upon you.”
    Daddy was always afraid to go to the doctor. He said, “Once those doctors start cutting on you, they never stop.” He feared going under the knife, so he suffered tremendously with his abdominal pains. Everything he ate came right back up, including his favorite vanilla ice cream. Mama couldn’t take watching him suffer and lose more weight; so they drove him to the hospital, and sure enough, he had to have an emergency operation. Stomach cancer had destroyed Daddy’s organs beyond salvation, so the doctor stitched him back up and sent him home to live out his last days. Seeing her father slowly deteriorate was so disturbing, Jada decided to only reminisce about the good times and never talk about how her daddy might still be alive if he hadn’t delayed going to see his doctor.
    Jada dreaded and debated whether to tell Wellington or Darryl. The one person Jada knew she could tell—the person who wouldn’t judge her—was her mother. “Baby, if you don’t know which one is the father, you’ve got to tell both Wellington and Darryl,” Mama insisted. Mama’s advice was honest and direct. Unlike Robert—who comically judged everyone—Mama never labeled anyone. Robert said, “What you crying for Diamonette? They both rich.”
    Jada instantly decided to defer her dream of opening the doors to her company until after her child started school. Between her Mutual Funds and her inheritance from Henry Tanner, she and her baby could live a moderate lifestyle on the interest income. Within five