Near to the Wild Heart Read Online Free PDF Page A

put her hand in there as if she were dipping into a bag and pulling out some surprise, an animal, a casket, whatever. Her breasts expanded with every sob, bulged out, and from the kitchen came the smell of beans cooked with garlic. Somewhere in the house, someone must be drinking great mouthfuls of olive oil. Those breasts could bury someone!
    — Let me go! — Joana screamed, stamping her foot on the ground, her eyes dilated, her body trembling.
    Her aunt leaned against the piano, stunned. The housemaid said: Leave her alone, she's tired. Joana was gasping for breath, her face a deathly white. She passed her darkened eyes over the room, felt she was being pursued. The walls were solid, she was trapped, trapped! A man in one of the portraits was watching her from behind his moustache and her aunt's breasts were in danger of spilling over her, melted into fat. She pushed the heavy door and fled.
    A gust of wind and sand entered the hall, lifted the curtains, brought a breath of air. Through the open door, her handkerchief suppressing her sobs and her dismay — such a terrible disappointment — the aunt caught a fleeting glimpse of her niece's thin, bare legs scampering and scurrying between heaven and earth, until they disappeared in the direction of the beach.
    Using the back of her hands, Joana wiped her face which was wet with kisses and tears. She breathed more deeply, still felt the insipid taste of that warm saliva, the cloying fragrance that came from her aunt's bosom. Unable to control her feelings any longer, anger and revulsion surfaced in violent waves and, leaning over a cavity in the rocks, she threw up, her eyes shut and tight, her body painful and vindictive.
    The wind was now licking her with force. Pale and fragile, breathing gently, she could feel it salty and playful, pervading and penetrating her entire body, reviving her. She half opened her eyes. Down there below, the sea shone in waves of copper, stretched out, deep, opaque, serene. It came dense and rebellious, rising in spirals. Then it extended itself ... spreading itself over the peaceful sands like a living body. The sea — she said in a whisper, her voice hoarse.
    She climbed down from the rocks, walked unsteadily along the solitary beach until she felt the water on her feet. Crouching down, her legs shaking, she drank a little sea-water. And there she lingered, resting. From time to time, she half closed her eyes, kept them level with the sea and she faltered, the vision was so sharp -just that long, green line, attaching her eyes to the water ad infinitum. The sun broke through the clouds and the glints of light that sparkled on the waters were tiny flares going in and out. The sea, beyond the waves, watched from afar, silent, without tears, without breasts. Mighty, mighty. Mighty, she smiled. And, suddenly, without any warning, she felt something powerful inside her, something strange which caused her to tremble a little. But it was neither cold nor sad, it was some mighty thing which came from the sea, which came from the taste of salt in her mouth, and from her, from her herself. It was not sadness, but happiness close to horror... Every time she looked at the sea and its tranquil brilliance, she felt a sudden tightening then slackening throughout her body, around her waist and her bosom. She didn't really know if she should laugh for it was no laughing matter. On the contrary, oh, on the contrary, behind that thing lay the events of yesterday. She covered her face with her hands, almost ashamed, as she waited, feeling the heat of her laughter and her exhalation as it was sucked in once more. The water trickled over her feet which were now bare, gurgling between her toes, escaping as clear, as clear, as some transparent animal. Transparent and alive... She felt an urge to drink it, to bite it slowly. She caught it with cupped hands. The tiny quiescent lake glistened calmly in the sun, became warm, trickled away, escaped. The sand absorbed