Natural Order Read Online Free PDF Page B

place.”
    “It’s not so bad,” I say. “We get free ice cream.”
    “I’m not talking about this place, Joyce. I’m talking about this place.” He swings his arms in a wide semicircle. “This shit hole. I can’t wait to get away.”
    “I’m moving to Andover,” I say, surprised by my confession. Truthfully, it’s been on my mind. I was planning to move after Helen’s wedding. I could get a job typing. My own apartment. I’d make new friends and have them over for dinner. I’d smoke too much and stare out of my kitchen window onto the street below.
    “Well la-di-da,” Freddy says and twirls his paper hat on his finger. “No one ever said you weren’t living on the edge.”
    I cross my arms. “What exciting place have you got in mind? Toronto?”
    “Someplace bigger, toots.”
    “I can’t wait to get away, either,” I say, more to myself than him. “I’m sick of all this stupid wedding business. Helen always has to have centre stage. It’s so typical of her.”
    He narrows his eyes. “Joyce Conrad, do you know how to cha-cha?”
    I can’t help but laugh. “How to what?”
    “What time does the movie start tonight?”
    “Nine,” I say.
    “Then we’ve got time.”
    “For what?”
    “You’ll see.”
    Later, after we close up the shop, Freddy pushes the chairs and tables against the wall to clear a space. I watch him from behind the counter, paralyzed. He takes the transistor radio from Mr. Devlin’s office and sets it on one of the tables. After some static and high-pitched whining, he finds a station and turns up the volume. He starts to snap his fingers.
    “Take off that dirty apron and get on this dance floor,” he says.
    “I don’t think I can do this, Freddy.” My mouth feels full of dried glue.
    “If I can teach the fat, middle-aged women of Balsden the soft-shoe shuffle, I can teach you how to cha-cha.”
    I untie my apron and hurry into the Gussy-Up Room to check my hair. I can’t put on lipstick without looking too obvious, so I tap and pinch my cheeks to give them some colour. Then I breathe into my cupped palm and sniff.
    “Joyce!” Freddy calls. “The orchestra is waiting!”
    “Good lord,” I whisper to my reflection. Things are about to change for me. I can feel it.
    The steps, he assures me, are very simple.
    “Just take one step forward and then two half-steps back. Like this.” He demonstrates. “Can you do that?”
    I try, but mix up the order. It’s hard to concentrate. “I’m horrible at these types of things.”
    He tells me to wiggle my hips more.
    “I don’t think I can,” I say. I’m light-headed. His hand presses around mine. I can smell everything about him: his cologne, his skin, a hint of vanilla ice cream.
    “You’re only as bad as you allow yourself to believe,” Freddy says.
    We keep practising, and eventually I get it right. My hips unlock. I didn’t know I could move this way. I feel free. Ungrounded.
    “Forget Cinema Princess. I’m going to call you Ginger Rogers from now on,” Freddy says as we spin around the room. We crash into one of the tables and start to laugh.
    “If Mr. Devlin saw us, he’d have a heart attack,” I say.
    “He’d spew whipped cream out his ears.”
    “His hot fudge would boil over.”
    Then Freddy tells me he’s going to dip me. “Hang on.”
    My body stiffens instinctively as I fall back towards the floor. The heels of my sneakers slide against the tiles.
    “Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ve got you.”
    And he does. I see that now. Freddy has always had me.
    He pulls me back up and then I kiss him. It’s the first time my lips have ever touched anyone else’s. My breath catches inside my mouth and my skin becomes a blanket of pin pricks. I feel Freddy press his lips against mine and if freedom ever felt like anything, it’s this moment. Then he pulls away and drops his face between my neck and shoulder. I hear him inhale, as though sucking me in.
    He lifts his head and I notice his eyes