Nanny Piggins and the Race to Power 8 Read Online Free PDF Page A

diet finds a delicious chocolate mud cake in their letterbox, they will eat it, then they will be cross with themselves for eating it, then they will get cross at the person who gave it to them,’ continued Tyler. ‘There will be a massive electoral backlash and you’ll lose in a landslide.’
    ‘Oh dear,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘It’s horrifying to think that so much wonderful cake could cause so much unhappiness.’
    ‘Which is why you need to triangulate,’ explained Tyler.
    ‘Triangu-whatie?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Triangulate,’ said Tyler. ‘It is an ingenious electoral strategy invented by former American President Bill Clinton, where you ignore the people who love you because they will love you whatever you do. Then you focus all your energy on pandering to the people who dislike you intensely.’
    ‘But who dislikes Nanny Piggins intensely?’ asked Michael. He found it impossible to believe that people could not love his nanny as much as he did.
    ‘Fitness fanatics and healthy eaters,’ stated Tyler.
    ‘My Achilles heel,’ gasped Nanny Piggins.
    ‘You need to win over the gym junkies,’ explained Tyler.
    ‘But to do so would be to go against all my principles, everything I believe in,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘It won’t be so hard,’ argued Tyler. ‘You are a flying pig and therefore an elite athlete.’
    ‘True,’ agreed Nanny Piggins.
    ‘But that’s an extreme sport,’ continued Tyler. ‘You need to let the fit and healthy know you are one of them.’
    ‘How?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘By taking up jogging,’ said Tyler.
    ‘Noooooooooooo!’ screamed Nanny Piggins.

    Eventually, several minutes later, the children managed to calm Nanny Piggins down again, largely by feeding her several dozen freshly made cakes (which fortuitously were so close at hand).
    ‘I despise those who jog,’ said an emotional Nanny Piggins, ‘but to do it myself –’ she literally shuddered to think of it – ‘would be to defile everything I believe in, to betray every cake I have ever eaten.’
    ‘Do you want to be mayor of Dulsford?’ asked Tyler.
    ‘Not particularly,’ admitted Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Do you want to beat Mr Green, stop him from becoming mayor and ruining everything you don’t hate about this city?’ asked Tyler.
    Nanny Piggins thought about it for a moment. ‘Yes, yes I do.’
    ‘Then sacrifices have to be made,’ said Tyler. ‘In all campaigns, if you are going to win, the first thing that has to go is the candidate’s dignity.’
    ‘Pass me a slice of cake,’ said Nanny Piggins forlornly. ‘If I’m going to take up jogging I shall need the energy.’
    ‘Oh, you’re not just going to take up jogging,’ said Tyler. ‘I’ve entered you in the Town to Tip fun run.’
    At this point Nanny Piggins fainted (or fell asleep, it was hard to tell because she was very tired). Her brain obviously needed to shut down in order to block out the reality that she was now going to take up such a deeply unpleasant sport.
    Fortunately, Boris was able to wake his sister by slapping her in the face with a cream pie, which only took him 45 minutes to whip up especially for this purpose.
    ‘But I can’t go in a fun run!’ protested Nanny Piggins. ‘It would go against everything I believe in.’
    ‘Exactly,’ agreed Tyler, ‘which is how you would win over an entirely new demographic to your campaign.’
    ‘Triangucake,’ nodded Boris.
    ‘But there’s nothing fun about running,’ argued Nanny Piggins, ‘unless it’s after an ice-cream truck, and even then the fun part is actually catching it, tying up the ice-cream man and eating all his stock.’
    ‘And the Town to Tip run is very hilly,’ argued Samantha.
    ‘And it goes right past the Slimbridge Cake Factory,’ added Michael. ‘Nanny Piggins has never been able to run past that, even in a locked car driving at 80 km an hour. She still finds it impossible to resist the urge to kick out the window and leap