My Teenage Dream Ended Read Online Free PDF Page B

plunged right in, saying everything all in a rush.
    “So the other night, I went out with the girls. I drank too much and ended up making out with some boy. I barely even remember what he looks like, so it really doesn’t matter, but I wanted to tell you so I wouldn’t be hiding anything from you.”
    I paused to catch my breath and then added, “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, but at least I told you.”
    When I was done, Derek was quiet. He didn’t even look at me. The silence ate at me and I realized that maybe I had truly messed up. I looked down at the ground and stayed like that, not saying anything more. I had rolled the dice and come up a loser.
    I heard Derek say, “I gotta go.”
    I didn’t look up. I couldn’t. “Bye,” I said almost to myself.
    In my mind, it had been a straight shot from “we are so perfect and cute” to “he doesn’t care about me at all.” I felt like a month ago we had been so happy and in love and now here he was walking away. I couldn’t believe it was ending like this. I felt so stupid.
    I looked up in time to see him shut the gate. Then I turned and fixed my eyes on my house so I wouldn’t have to see him leave. I would just hear his car start up and then I would know that he was leaving.
    But I didn’t hear the car start. Instead, I heard Derek’s footsteps as he came back up on the porch with a big smile on his face. I looked up at him and he said, “I like you too much to stop seeing you. But don’t do it again!” I smiled back at him and we hugged each other close for a long time and then he had to leave to go to work. I was thrilled that Derek had finally admitted how much he liked me.
    Gradually, we fell back into being boyfriend and girlfriend again. We started doing everything as a couple again, like I had been wanting, and he shared everything with me—or so it seemed at the time. But something had definitely changed. The trust between us had been damaged and we could never quite get back to the way we had been.
    Partly, it was that I needed to let him know why I had kissed someone else. I wanted to talk about everything that had happened between us. But somehow the time never seemed right to talk about it, so it all went unsaid.
    I still thought about it, though. Inside, I knew it had happened because Derek had not really been my boyfriend and that had hurt. I had lost control at the bonfire party because I had wanted Derek to be there with me, as my boyfriend, the way it used to be. Instead, he had been at some other party, doing his own thing. Derek never told me if he had kissed anyone else or if he was flirting with someone else that night, or that summer for that matter, and I never asked.
    Still, even though important things went unsaid, I was happy that we were seeing each other again for more than just booty calls, so I concentrated on that. Despite what he had said earlier, Derek had discovered that he couldn’t live without me.
    Meanwhile, Bonfire Guy apparently hadn’t been as drunk that night as I had been. He kept pestering my girlfriends, asking to hang out with me. One day his crew of guys showed up where I was hanging out with my girlfriends and we met again. After that, they kept showing up until we finally agreed to start hanging out with them. He would invite me to his friends’ parties where I knew my girlfriends would be. I told him that Derek and I were dating again but it was cool if he and I were just friends.
    This caused some friction at parties and it was definitely a juggling act for me, but I didn’t mind because that crew of guys was nice and I loved the attention. But Derek definitely did not think the situation was so cute. Now that we were back to going out instead of just having sex, he was getting jealous and possessive.
    I started thinking I had gambled and won after all. Somehow I had played the game right. I thought, I have the boy I want and now he’s all mine .

THE LYING STARTS

    Derek and