My Secret Rockstar Boyfriend Read Online Free PDF Page B

making it easier on her – not make her feel bad the one time she decides to share.
    ‘You
know
.’ She rolls her eyes and snaps at me rather than admit her own embarrassment. ‘
Sexually
. I’m presuming that you and Seymour, like,
do
it
. We’re eighteen – well over the age of consent, after all – and we’re all in proper relationships. So it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Otherwise I just have
to assume that she doesn’t really fancy me.’
    Once she’s finished speaking – a long and personal speech by Nishi’s usual standards – she props her head in her hands again. I suspect this is due only partly to
despair, and as much to avoid looking me directly in the face. With her undercut, pierced nose and her uniform of buttoned-down shirts and skinny black jeans, it can be easy to forget that Nishi is
not always as tough as she looks.
    Occasionally I’m forced to admit that she and I are not like normal girlie best friends. Neither one of us is particularly interested in discussing things like crushes or make-up at any
great length – and although this shouldn’t matter, sometimes it feels as though that’s all the other girls at college ever talk about. Plus, much as we love each other, we’d
rather have a laugh than sit about having emotional discussions or crying, or some miserable crap like that.
    Over and above all of that, we do not – repeat
do not –
talk about sex. I don’t know why Nishi is so reticent; that’s her business and I don’t really want
to know. Well, maybe I kind of do, secretly, but I would never ask.
    For myself, I know the reason why I would rather eat glass than discuss my sex life. The simple fact is that I don’t have one. Everyone assumes I must be doing stuff with Seymour –
we’ve been going out for a while and he is gorgeous, so they assume that of course I would want to. And I do want to, I think. We never really talk about it, but he just seems kind of . . .
uninterested. I mean, isn’t it supposed to be boys who are desperate to have sex and girls who are trying to stop them, not the other way around?
    I’ve never had a boyfriend before Seymour, so I don’t know what the norm is; maybe I’ve just watched too many American teen films. It’s great that I don’t ever feel
pressured by him, or like I have to compromise my feminist principles in any way – but it also means I don’t ever feel very, well, sexy. I’m actually glad Seymour isn’t like
that, but occasionally it seems to go a bit too far the other way – sometimes it can feel a bit like going out with Morrissey.
    ‘Oh yeah, of course,’ I bluster, going back to fiddling with the sandwich remains and not quite looking Nishi in the eye. ‘I mean, yeah. Obviously. We’ve been going out
for ages, so . . . I don’t really like to talk about it. It just seems disrespectful to Seymour. You know what he’s like – he’d be really upset if he thought I was gossiping
about all that . . . you know, stuff.’
    This is a stroke of genius on my part, I reckon. Because, if there was actually anything to tell, I’m pretty sure this actually would be Seymour’s attitude. So it’s not really
a lie. Which is fine. Right?
    Unfortunately Nishi gets the same weird look on her face that she had when we were talking about Seymour a minute ago.
    ‘Chew,’ Nishi says, ‘is everything all right with you? That was kind of why I wanted to bring this up, as well. I don’t just want to be totally self-obsessed for once!
How are things with you and Seymour?’
    ‘Fine, thanks,’ I find myself saying automatically.
    It’s funny. There are things I
would
like to talk to Nishi about, now that I’ve got the chance for once – she is looking at me across the table with genuine concern
– but for some reason I find I
can’t.
Admitting that anything is less than perfect just seems too scary. Even though I know I’m being stupid and I should take this rare
window while I can, I can’t seem