My Secret Rockstar Boyfriend Read Online Free PDF

not sure I want to know.
    ‘OK. How are things with you and Anna?’ I ask, trying to keep the tone of dread out of my voice.
    I recognize this feeling. It’s not quite so bad on this occasion, obviously, but it reminds me just a tiny bit of all those times – from my dad onward – when my mum would sit
me down and say she had to talk to me about something. She’d tell me she was breaking up with whoever the guy was, always say it wasn’t my fault, then she’d cry a bit and pretend
not to; then we’d usually get a takeaway and watch a crap film together to cheer ourselves up. That was the drill.
    I’m hardly the traumatized child of a broken home, but it would be nice not to go through that again. Ever.
    ‘How are things with me and Anna? See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?’ Nishi starts to roll her eyes at me, in her usual sarcastic style – but halfway through she fails
miserably and her face crumples. ‘Oh, Chew, I just don’t know . . . I don’t know if she likes me any more. I don’t think she does, at least not as much as she used
to.’
    She leans her elbows on the table and clutches her face with both hands. Her sharp bobbed undercut flips over on itself so all I can see is the contour of her shaved head underneath. I instantly
forget about my own self-absorbed worries. Even abandoning Nishi’s leftovers, I drop the crust and rush around to her side of the table, accidentally kicking my plastic canteen chair over in
the process. I bundle in and hug Nishi from behind, as tight as I can.
    Nishi’s not really the hugging type, but I want her to know that I’m here for her. She stiffens and brushes me off – although I know she doesn’t mean it nastily –
so I walk back around the table, pick up my chair and sit back down in my own seat. Usually Nishi’s as reluctant to talk about her feelings as I am, if not more so – which means this
must be pretty bad.
    ‘Oh, Nish . . . That’s not true. It can’t be. You and Anna are perfect together.’
    ‘What, like you and Seymour are?’ She says it in this slightly snarky voice, and for a second she looks over at me with a cocked eyebrow and a very odd expression. ‘Oh, forget
it.’
    ‘Come on, Nishi. We’ve got this far. Talk to me. What’s the matter? Has Anna said something?’
    ‘No, she hasn’t
said
anything – but she’s being off with me, I know it. She’s been weird for a while.’
    ‘But I saw you guys on Saturday; we spent the whole day together – she was fine. We all had a good time, didn’t we?’
    I can’t help feeling personally wounded by this possible state of affairs. The three of us get on so well – or so I always thought – that I might as well be part of this
relationship. I couldn’t stand it if Anna dumped both of us. I’ve had stepfathers I’ve cared about less.
    Embarrassed at my own train of thought, I have to give myself a strict reminder that this is not all about me.
    ‘Yeah, of course we did,’ Nishi agrees, and I inwardly breathe a sigh of self-serving relief. ‘The three of us always have a wicked time, don’t we? It’s when
it’s just the two of us that the problems start.’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    Maybe I really
am
more important to this situation than I thought. Maybe this
is
kind of about me. God, I hope Anna isn’t secretly in love with me or something. Again I
have to remind myself that this is not an appropriate thought process and shut my own stupid brain down before it can really get started. Bad Chew.
    ‘Well . . .’ Nishi looks uncharacteristically bashful. ‘I mean, I don’t really know how these things are supposed to work. You know I don’t have a lot of experience
in that department. But it’s all a bit . . . awkward. Can I just ask you, what are things like with you and Seymour?’
    ‘What
do
you mean?’ I blurt out in the voice of a shocked Victorian spinster, forgetting in my surprise that this is probably quite a big deal for Nish and I ought to be