My Other Car is a Spaceship Read Online Free PDF Page A

Hal.
    We’re so proud of the advances we ’ve made into space. This ship makes ours look like a broken-down Model T; and the room they have to move around in— He shook his head in amazement. Our ships are like phone booths by comparison.
    And the weapons! If they ever decide to invade Earth, we ’re doomed.
    The thought worried him for a moment, but then he got caught up again in his enthusiasm for the ship.
    Holy shit, she’s fast! She can fly to Mars and back before our ships even leave orbit. It makes everything we do seem like a complete waste of effort.
    He allowed himself to steep in self-pity for a moment. Then he shook it off.
    This is exactly what Kalen meant about cultural contamination. We’re not inferior; we’re merely late to the party.
    I t can’t hurt to fly this baby for a few months, can it? It won’t change the course of human development. In fact, by defending Earth, maybe I’ll help keep the natural progression of society and technology on its original course.
    At least, that’s the theory.
    Hal followed Kalen into the medical bay. “Colonel Harold Nellis, I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Chalmis’Noud’Ourien. We all call him Nude for short. Nude, this is our new pilot.” Kalen took a seat in the corner of the room.
    Hal suppressed a chuckle at the doctor’s nickname and looked up, and up, and up. He swallowed. “Nude? Nice to meet you. Call me Hal.” The latter remark drew a smirk from Kalen.
    “It is my distinct pleasure to meet you, Hal.”
    The Chan’Yi was 2.8-meters tall and cadaverously thin. Bipedal, he was generally proportioned like a human, only more stretched out. His face never would have passed for human, even without the bright cobalt hue. His appearance was more horse than human. Wherever his hearing organs were, Hal couldn’t see them. Nude had four digits on each hand, three fingers and an opposable thumb. Despite the nickname, he wore a purple gown that covered him from neck to feet, which were shod in what looked to Hal like size twenty-eleven slippers.
    He’s a doctor, so he can’t be starving. This must be his normal appearance. Hal swallowed. This is going to take some getting used to.
    “So, Nude, how do we do this? How do I get hooked up to the ship?”
    “The procedure is quite simple. I will inject an implant into your brain.”
    Hal shrank back a bit. The theory sounded great, but now faced with the actuality, he was having second thoughts. “Whoa. Hold the phone. You mean you’re going to put a little machine in my head? I don’t know about that.” He shivered at the thought.
    “Do not worry, Hal. It is painless. In a matter of minutes it will extend sensor tendrils to the appropriate places in your brain.”
    “ Tendrils ? Hey, wait a minute….” Hal blanched at the notion of an alien machine crawling through his brain and taking over his mind.
    “ Again, there is nothing to worry about. Over the course of the next hour or so, they will interface with all aspects of your conscious and unconscious mind, including the speech centers. This is how I am able to speak your language and many others. The implant also maintains constant wireless contact with all of the ship’s systems. Once you are online, you will have control of all phases of the ship’s functions, from piloting to weapons to environmental systems to maintenance. You will be primarily responsible for piloting and weaponry. We have other people to perform the other functions—life support, ship repairs, food preparation, housekeeping, medical, and so on—but you will have the ability to take over for most of them in an emergency.”
    Hal ’s eyes widened. The thought of all that capability at his disposal banished the fear of mind control.
    H e whistled. “That’s a lot to keep track of.”
    “It is nothing of which you are not capable, or you would not be here.”
    “If you say so. But if there’s only one of me, how am I supposed to run this ship twenty-four hours a