past. She had this idea for us to fill balloons and release them into the air. That was supposed to be symbolic of letting go.” I tried to open up as we remained in the parking lot, next to his Camaro.
“You got it bad like that?” His question jabbed at me. I knew he wasn’t trying to be malicious or anything, but damn. If he only knew.
I spun to face the entrance to the deck, where a live band had started playing island tunes. This could’ve been the perfect type of night. He might’ve been the perfect type of guy to do the happy hour thing or date thing with, but I wasn’t yet the perfect type of girl. In fact, I’m not sure that I’d ever be.
His fingers landed on the inside part of my arm, on the opposite side of my elbow. “Kasha, don’t walk away from me.” He didn’t ease up on me, not until I turned to him. I kept my head low, my eyes on my freshly painted red toes. “You need to stop being so uptight. Every chance you get, you’re pushing me away. How are we supposed to get to know each other?”
I listened, but what registered the most was this idea that we were supposed to get to know each other. “Get to know how?” I asked, slowly stepping backwards.
Knox followed. “Am I the only one that’s interested like that?” His fingers grazed mine. I yanked my entire arm from him.
“Like what? Knox, I’m only interested in a friendship. I have too much to work on before I can get into the mindset of working on anything with anyone.” I meant what I said with every fiber of me.
Don’t get me wrong. I would’ve loved to go there with him. Knox seemed to be a good guy; the kind of guy deserving of a girl with a steady head on her shoulders. He should’ve had a girl who was able to make his life better.
That was something I couldn’t promise. There was way too much hurt inside to think about anything other than a friendship.
“So what are we doing here?” This time he added distance. His hands reached up and to the sides. “I give up.”
“Knox, I’m not in a good place now.” What the hell was I supposed to say? Could I lay out the fact that I’d just had to run away from Miami after witnessing what might’ve been a murder? Or that Teagan handed down her own breed of justice? Since we left, I’d been curious enough to wonder about what’ went down with Van and Axel, but that was it. I didn’t Google or search out the news. I drew the line there. I wanted to forget, but I had to be mindful that someday this mess might explode in my face.
Did I want Knox to get drawn into my past?
Of course not. It was mine to deal with, not his.
“I only need a friend.” I caught his eyes with mine. The setting was perfect. In fact, the evening had begun settling in just right. Daylight hung on in the distance.
Knox remained silent. He didn’t speak again until the seating hostess confirmed we wanted a table for two.
“How does a guy know when he’s ready?”
“What do you mean, Kash?” His movements were almost mechanical next to me.
Placing my fingertips on his forearm, I explained, “I always thought you guys were all about fun, but then someone like you comes along.”
“Not someone like me. Me,” he confirmed with a confident nod.
“I’m sorry. Then you come along.” I smiled. The thing was, my fingers were itching to run across his lips, wrap around his upper body and just snuggle into him like I’d done the night at Chesapeake. “What makes you think you’re ready to take on some chick’s issues?” I giggled in a sort of low-key way.
“Damn, Kash, no matter who comes along, there will be issues or baggage. You only need to decide if you believe the person is worth it.”
His reply was perfect, in the way it hinted at me being worth it. I might’ve been able to believe Knox if I had been a different person; the kind of person my mom believed I’d never be.
“Right now, I could do with a friend,” I muttered.
“You sure?”
I wrapped my arm around his
MR. PINK-WHISTLE INTERFERES